Celeb Birthdays: March 25

Thank the heavens, Mercury is direct! It's still moving slowly, so pace yourself and don't get frustrated by delays in travel -- better a hangup than an accident, 'k?

Now, on to the birthdays. Aries is ruled by Mars, and some fairly fierce, take-charge females were born today, from pro athletes to soap divas to sexperts. Plus, some token boys.

Representing for the Y chromosome is actor Sean Faris, who celebrates his 24th. The kids today seem to like him. See Sean Faris's astrological chart (Astrotheme, no birth time)

Race car driver Danica Patrick, representing for the aggressive, driven (no pun intended) Aries spirit, is proud to be considered a fast woman at 24. See Danica Patrick's astrological chart (Astrotheme, no birth time)

It would be so easy to make a joke about rapper Juvenile having outgrown his name at 31, but that is not the kind of low-hanging-fruit humor we employ here at Media-Darling.com! Instead, I would like to take the high road and mention his efforts to help rebuild his native New Orleans. I suggest you buy his new CD, Reality Check, in support of his post-Katrina efforts. Back that azz up for America!

Another athletic Aries woman, WNBA star Sheryl Swoopes, is 35. Can I just say how awesome I think she is for coming out? I know people are all like, "Gee, a lesbian WNBA star, what a shock" -- but it's actually really brave to be an openly gay woman in a field where people are paranoid about being stereotyped.

What is it with the pioneering, kick-ass-and-take-no-prisoners Aries chicks today? Figure skater Debi Thomas, the first African-American Winter Olympics medalist, is 39.

If you were expecting me to gush over Sarah Jessica Parker, think again. I just don't trust that bobble-headed creature, with her beady little eyes and her big fake smile. She celebrates 41 years of pretending to be a sassy, empowered Aries chick while secretly setting women back decades. See Sarah Jessica Parker's astrological chart (Astrotheme, no birth time)

Marcia Cross looks fabulous at 44 and gets bonus points (1) for being an insane, undead baby-snatcher on Melrose Place; (2) for being an insane Martha clone on Desperate Housewives; and (3) because her dad plays golf with my grandfather. Her DH costar Brenda Strong is coincidentally 46 today; I really know nothing about her, but at least her name fits today's feminist theme. See Marcia Cross's astrological chart (Astrotheme, no birth time)

So does that of sexpert Susie Bright, who celebrates 48 years of open-minded fun.

Fitting right in with these bitches-to-be-reckoned-with is Sir Elton John, a newlywed at 58. Mazel tov, Elton! See Elton John's astrological chart (Astrotheme)

The Scorpio-rising Queen of Soul, Aretha Franklin, is 64. See Aretha Franklin's astrological chart (Astrotheme)

Also Scorpio-rising, Gloria Steinem would probably not appreciate being called a bitch to be reckoned with, even if I meant it as the highest compliment, which I would. So I'll just wish her a happy 72nd and offer the maddest of props. See Gloria Steinem's astrological chart (Astrotheme)

Film critic Gene Shalit is 74. I'm not sure how to integrate him into the feminist theme, but I would like to say I think those Brokeback Mountain fanatics need to stop hating on him. Hello, not liking a movie does not make you a homophobe!

Tragically, lupus took the life of Flannery O'Connor. She wrote many books before death came upon her. [Source] She would have been just 81 today. Fa ril, if you haven't read the short story "Everything That Rises Must Converge," please do so immediately.

Birth dates from IMDB.com. Please email me any corrections, additions or -- especially appreciated! -- exact birth times.