Saturday, March 04, 2006

Oscar Predictions III: The Oscar Night Astrological Chart

Since we are discussing the Oscar nominees in reference to the chart cast for the Academy Awards (March 5, 2006, 5:00 PM PST, Los Angeles, CA), I thought I'd take a moment to look at that chart in its own right (left), and what it says about the night.

The Sun is conjuncting Uranus in the Oscars' chart, which seems fitting since Uranus is also associated with transgressive choices about gender and sexuality (no pun intended -- I don't make this stuff up, folks), and it's been much remarked upon that this Academy Awards has been all about gayness, with Brokeback Mountain, Capote and Transamerica all nominated for big honors. The Sun's proximity to unpredictable Uranus suggests that there may be some major upsets in store for the evening. With mutable signs on all four angles of the Oscar chart, and the Moon conjuncting Mars in Gemini on the Midheaven, expect the unexpected. The people who are honored tonight may not be who you think they are.

Uranus also rules accidents, which got me to thinking about Crash and whether it could be the ultimate winner of the night. The Sun-Uranus conjunction in Pisces is in some ways descriptive of the mood of that film. The movie is about how we exist in a web of connections with each other but are separated from true emotional understanding by vast chasms between us -- a very Uranian/Aquarian idea -- and that we crave emotional connection so much that we are actually, subconsciously compelled to "crash" into each other. The idea of people being all subconsciously connected, and of people's boundaries dissolving into each other to merge into one, is very Piscean.

Then again, with the sexuality associations of Uranus, and with the Sun trining Jupiter in sexy Scorpio, perhaps all this subconsciously-connecting-with-each-other business could just as well describe on-the-D.L. cowboys. Stay tuned for the Best Picture post which will explore all five nominees in more detail.

More Oscar predictions: Best Actress | Best Actor | Best Picture

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Oscar Predictions II: Best Actor

Time for Best Actor. To recap, I'm comparing the birth chart for each nominee with the chart cast for Oscar night (5:00 PM PST in L.A.).

Philip Seymour Hoffman
Born: 7/23/67, Fairport, NY; no birth time
Data source: IMDB
I think part of the reason PST's chart isn't even on Astrotheme is that he was born on a cusp day, and without a birth time, it's not even possible to tell what sign he is. How extremely irksome! Still, to paraphrase Donald Rumsfeld, we go to make Oscar predictions with the charts we have, not the charts we wish we had. So, I can safely say that Venus at 0° Aquarius is opposing Philip's Sun regardless of what sign it's in, while Saturn is retrograding back toward it. Chiron in Aquarius opposes his natal Jupiter in Leo, while transiting Jupiter stopped just short of a conjunction with his natal Neptune to turn retrograde. Uranus opposes his Venus, which could go either way. That Saturn retrograding toward his Sun suggests to me that the Academy may feel recognition is overdue for PST.

Terrence Howard
Born: 3/11/69, Chicago, IL; no birth time
See Terrence Howard's horoscope (Source: Astrotheme)
This was definitely an amazing year for Terrence Howard, but his chart for Oscar night does not show the kind of eye-poppingly wonderful aspects that would augur him pulling off an upset. Pluto could be on his Moon if he was born early in the A.M., before sunrise. But I'm not liking his odds.

Heath Ledger
Born: 4/3/1979, Perth Australia; no birth time
See Heath Ledger's horoscope (Source: Astrotheme)
It's funny that Heath Ledger's Venus is almost exactly opposite Philip Seymour Hoffman's, which pretty well describes the way they have been pitted against each other in a presumed two-man race for the trophy. Heath has a couple of major transits taking place that could really go either way. If you are wicked good at information retention, you'll recall that Philip Seymour's Venus is being opposed by Uranus, so you'll doubtless by now have concluded that Uranus is conjuncting Heath's Venus. (Yes, this will be on the test.) This could mean either unexpected good luck or a reversal of fortune for Heath. Furthermore, Saturn conjuncting his Jupiter (which, interestingly, is conjunct Philip Seymour's Sun) could put a damper on his hopes, or it could represent the recognition of the Academy. It's hard to say, but given the way things have been going in Heath's life, it would hardly be surprising for the luck to break in his favor. Something about the fact that he's having his exact Mercury return on Oscar night (when Mercury returns to its exact position at your birth), and both transiting and natal Mercury are retrograde in Pisces, makes me envision him giving an adorably nonsensical speech.

Joaquin Phoenix
Born: 10/31/74, San Juan, Puerto Rico; no birth time
See Joaquin Phoenix's horoscope (Source: Astrotheme)
As faithful readers know, I consider The Awful Truth's Ted Casablanca to be my gossip guru; the validity of his utterances about celebrities are on a par with what the planets tell me. So I can't help but think of Ted's portrayal of Joaquin as sullen and ungrateful about his fame when I see that Saturn in Leo/Chiron in Aquarius opposition forming a T-square (a T-shaped aspect between three planets) with his Scorpio Sun/Venus/Mars. My thought is that the Academy does not want to reward J.P.; they would like to teach him a lesson about the consequences of not playing the fame game. (Although, in fairness, with all those Scorpio planets, one can hardly blame him for being Broody McSullenton.) But Uranus is right on Joaquin's Jupiter, which could mean an unexpected change of luck either way, so he can't be totally counted out.

David Strathairn
Born: 1/26/1949, San Francisco, CA; no birth time
Data source: IMDB
David who, now? This guy is not even Hey! It's That Guy-level as an actor. I almost wouldn't even bother to do his chart, if not for what I prefer not to remember as the Shizuka Arakawa Incident. But in the name of due diligence, I have plugged in his data. It's actually not a bad set of aspects. The transiting Moon/Mars on Oscar night is trining his Sun, and Neptune is right on his natal Mars/Mercury in Aquarius. However, with transiting Chiron sitting right on his Sun, opposed by Saturn, he's also in the middle of learning some painful lessons about fame and recognition. All these aspects need to be seen in light of his current status; even more so than with Keira Knightley (see the Best Actress predictions), an Oscar nomination itself represents a huge raising of his profile and status.

Conclusion: So not fair that Philip Seymour Hoffman is an enigma wrapped in a riddle right on a cusp. His aspects do look good, but I'm going to go out on a limb and say that Heath Ledger's Venus being conjuncted by Uranus is more likely to yield good luck than is PST's Venus being opposed by Uranus. No matter which one bags the Oscar, with their Venuses opposite each other, plus Heath's Jupiter on Philip's Sun and Philip's Venus on Heath's Saturn, these two actors would have great chemistry together. I hereby predict that next year's Oscars will be completely swept by a movie in which Heath and Philip play gay lovers.

More Oscar predictions: Best Actress | The Oscar Night Astrological Chart | Best Picture

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Friday, March 03, 2006

UPDATE: Angelina Due in May, Star Reports

As faithful readers know, I have been keeping a watch on Angelina Jolie's due date. The last reports had it that she was due in June. Now the March 13 issue of Star is reporting that:

On May 13, a little more than a week before her due date, a source tells Star, she plans to hold a special blessing ceremony for the newest Jolie-Pitt.

Okay, well, if true, that would put her due date at May 21 or later, which would mean her baby will be just barely a Gemini or possibly a Taurus if she gives birth early (the Sun enters Gemini at 12:31 AM EST). Interesting. I kind of hope it's a Taurus, because otherwise little Zahara is going to be the odd man out in this family, as the only earth sign (Capricorn) in a house full of fire (Brad's a Sag, Mad's a Leo) and air (twin Geminis Angelina and the newbie). Although if the baby is a Taurus, it won't be so cool with all this traveling around the world, visiting impoverished communities and flying planes. Our people like to stay in one place, preferably on the couch.

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Oscar Predictions I: Best Actress

And so it begins!

The astrological Academy Awards predictions start NOW. Here's how it works: I check out the birth horoscopes of the nominees and predict the winners. If you win your Oscar pool, you are welcome to send me a gift. If you lose, you are welcome to e-mail me scorn and derision. And now, on with the idle speculation!

First category up: Best Actress. Every single one of these women is a fire sign! This is gonna be a grand girlfight, peeps....

Judi Dench
Born: 12/9/34, York, UK; no birth time
See Judi Dench's horoscope (Source: Astrotheme)
Judi Dench was not even in a movie this year, but due to the Academy's bylaws she must receive an annual nomination regardless. I actually kind of like the looks of Venus in Aquarius and Saturn in Leo right on her nodes. Venus (value, worth) in Aquarius (sign of public perception) on the karmic North Node, opposed by Saturn (official recognition) in Leo (creativity, self-expression), could bring Judi the Academy's stamp of approval. And she's having her Jupiter return, which is always a good-luck sign, though it's six degrees off from exact at the time of the Oscars. I dunno, I'm not bowled over. Let's move on to...

Felicity Huffman
Born: 12/9/62, Bedford, NY; no birth time
See Felicity Huffman's horoscope (Source: Astrotheme)
Isn't it interesting that Judi Dench and Felicity Huffman share a birthday, a few decades apart? And she also has Venus-Saturn on her Nodes, though in reverse: Venus is on Felicity's South Node. At first glance I felt like that didn't bode well; nor does Chiron in Aquarius on Felicity's Saturn and, most importantly, transiting Saturn opposing her natal Saturn. This is definitely a momentous time for Felicity, but it seems to pose some challenges for her as well. Then I looked at her chart again and I was like, what was I, blind? [See note] Jupiter is freakin' conjuncting her Venus-Neptune, hello! Such a lucky aspect, especially for someone who so completely disguised her femininity (Venus) for a role; Neptune rules illusion, as well as the glamour of Hollywood. Uranus is on her Jupiter, which could bring sudden and unexpected luck (though it's also on her Chiron, so you never know -- apparently good fortune for Felicity almost always has a downside). Uranus is also associated with unconventional, transgressive behavior, including "alternative" sexuality and gender identity. So its contact with her Jupiter (luck) could describe the great opportunities that Transamerica has brought her. I may be biased because I adore Felicity and her hubby, William H. Macy, since they seem like real people and are definitely real actors. But after re-reviewing her chart, I actually think she will take this one. And I think all that Saturn stuff signifies that she is at a turning point in her life and professional career, having worked so hard to get where she is. Or it just means that once she gets back to the Desperate Housewives set with an Emmy AND an Oscar, those jealous bitches are going to make her life a living hell.

Keira Knightley
Born: 3/22/1983, Teddington, UK; no birth time
See Keira Knightley's horoscope (Source: Astrotheme)
Keira Knightley? Really? Are you kidding me? You're kidding me, right? Okay, well, um, this is weird and scary and doesn't make much sense, but based on her aspects alone, you can't totally count her out. Uranus is squaring her Jupiter, which could describe a surprise upset win. Venus in Aquarius is squaring her natal Venus-Saturn opposition, which could bring validation, and Pluto is conjucting her Neptune, which could represent a massive change in her image as an actress -- say, increased cred and clout. However, for a relatively ingenuey actress like Keira, these aspects could simply describe the nomination itself elevating her status in Hollywood, to the point where she has more options in terms of roles and brings home a bigger paycheck. Lucky Jupiter in Scorpio is inconjunct her Mars in Aries, ruler of her Sun, which means she may need to adjust her M.O. and be less direct, more manipulative, in order to take advantage of her good fortune.

Charlize Theron
Born: 8/7/1975, Benoni, South Africa; no birth time
See Charlize Theron's horoscope (Source: Astrotheme)
Nope. I got nothin' for ya. Sorry, hon. Your fake-baked butt can slink right back down that red carpet. You already have one hit-with-the-ugly-stick-in-the-name-of-art award, so that's something anyway.

Reese Witherspoon
Born: 3/22/1976, New Orleans, LA; no birth time
See Reese Witherspoon's horoscope (Source: Astrotheme)
La Reese is a true Aries, as evidenced by the fact that she called her production company Type A Productions. (This also makes me think she was born later in the day, with a hardworking, driven Capricorn Moon rather than a lackadaisical, off-in-all-directions Sag Moon.) The North Node is transiting Reese's Sun, which could be a sign that she is ready to fulfill some part of her karmic potential. Pluto could be on her Moon, were she born early in the A.M., but again I'm thinking that's unlikely. Uranus is on her Venus, which could bring a major change of fortune either way...either an unexpected windfall or a surprise loss. Given that she is the front-runner, I'm inclined to think any surprises Uranus brings won't be happy ones.

Conclusion: Wonder of wonders, Ms. Witherspoon might just go home empty-handed. I do like Keira Knightley's aspects, but astrological predictions have to be made in context of the rational scope of possibility. For someone at the point in her career that Keira is, those status-changing aspects could simply represent that it's an "honor just to be nominated" -- the Oscar nod itself has sent her Hollywood stock skyrocketing. Now, I like Jupiter on Felicity's Venus-Neptune and Uranus on her Jupiter, especially the way it describes both the upset win and the gender-bending nature of her role. I'm picturing F.Huff at that podium -- and with Pluto conjuncting her Mercury, she might make a fiery political statement in her speech.

UPDATE: This post has been edited from the original post, because I was blind when I originally posted it. No, seriously, I was in the throes of a pre-migraine and was literally blinded. It was actually really freaky. That's what happens when you stare at a monitor for 15 hours a day, I guess. Go figure.

More Oscar predictions: Best Actor | The Oscar Night Astrological Chart | Best Picture

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Thursday, March 02, 2006

Celeb Birthdays: March 2

Some rockers, rebels, social critics and self-destructive Pisces were born today. See if you can tell who's who.

Coldplay's Chris Martin has a lot to celebrate on his 29th. How frickin' cute is Apple? And there's another one coming? GAWD.

Jon Bon Jovi is 44?! Don't tell me he hasn't been Botoxed.

Righteous crusading Senator Russ Feingold turns 53, which leaves him plenty of time to run for President.

O.G. SNLer Laraine Newman is 54.

Ah, Pisces and their self-destructive tendencies. Karen Carpenter could have lived to be 56 today if only she had eaten a damn sandwich. But with Uranus right on her Cancer Ascendant, can you blame her for having body image issues? See Karen's horoscope (Astrotheme).

Speaking of self-destructive, how many drugs has Lou Reed ingested in his 64 years? Of course, he also embodies the visionary qualities of Pisces. The Velvet Underground being one of my favorite bands of all time, I could go on and on about their Piscean quality, and Lou's Mars-Uranus conjunction in Taurus, but that would just take time away from the forthcoming Oscar preview, which, no really, I am working on. In any case, see Lou's horoscope (Astrotheme, no birthtime).

White-suit-sporting author Tom Wolfe is 75.

Wall-tearing-down leader Mikhail Gorbachev is 75. Now I have that Scorpions song stuck in my head.

Birth dates from IMDB.com. Please email me any corrections, additions or -- especially appreciated! -- exact birth times.

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Wednesday, March 01, 2006

Celeb Birthdays: March 1

Weather-wise, March may come in like a lion, but astrologically speaking the folks born on March 1 are all Fishes. P.S. I know March is named for Mars and 1 is a masculine number but jeeze, weren't any interesting women born today?

I wonder if Mark-Paul Gosselaar, at 32, has made peace with the fact that his name will be forever linked with Saved by the Bell.

Hottie actor Javier Bardem rocks his 37th birthday today.

I just have to wish a happy 48th to Brit new-waver Nik Kershaw.

Imagination is a Pisces keyword, and Ron Howard , who runs Imagine Entertainment, has a Sun-Mercury conjunction in Pisces in the 11th house. He's 52 today; peep his horoscope (Astrotheme).

Few people on earth are more annoying to me than Alan Thicke, whose 59th birthday is today.

Now that the Who's Scorpio-rising Roger Daltrey is 62, I bet lots of people taunt him about that "Hope I die before I get old" line. Check out his horoscope (Astrotheme).

Harry Belafonte is 79. He has a lovely Sun-Jupiter conjunction in Pisces squaring his Gemini Ascendant. Take a look at his horoscope (Astrotheme).

Composer Frédéric Chopin would have turned 196 today if not for the tragically short life expectancy of his era.

Birth dates from IMDB.com. Please email me any corrections, additions or -- especially appreciated! -- exact birth times.

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Tuesday, February 28, 2006

Celeb Birthdays: February 28

Still battling a coldy-fluey thing, but the Oscar preview is coming! Meanwhile please note the birth of these celebrities.

In her 30 years, gorgeous Ali Larter has racked up many excellent roles in B-tastic movies. Come on, returning for Final Destination 2? You have to give it up for this girl!

Speaking of B-movie queens, how great would it be if Rae Dawn Chong made a comeback at 45? If you ask me, the Chongs are one of the great overlooked acting dynasties.

And again on the B tip, perennially babelicious B-52 Cindy Wilson is 49.

I don't have such gushy things to say about Gilbert Gottfried, 51 today, but he actually doesn't annoy me that much.

Wow, Charles Durning has been in so many movies at 81, you could get carpal tunnel syndrome scrolling down his IMDB profile. But of course, I will always love him best for The Muppet Movie. Oh, and Best Little Whorehouse.

Hmm, well, there's a lot of debate about the true birth date of Jesus Christ. Though he undoubtedly represents the Pisces archetype and his life heralded the astrological Age of Pisces, I think it's interesting that Astrotheme has decided today is his birthday. Were my head less addled, I would take a closer look at this chart and form an opinion as to its likelihood of veracity. Check out the chart and let me know what you think -- does this sound like J.C.?

Birth dates, unless otherwise noted, are from IMDB.com. Please email me any corrections, additions or -- especially appreciated! -- exact birth times.

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Monday, February 27, 2006

Celeb Birthdays: February 27

There certainly is an interesting mix of celebs born today. I'll keep this brief because my head is currently filled with phlegm, but please stay tuned for an Oscar preview later this week.

Horrifically annoying singer Josh Groban is 25.

Chelsea Clinton celebrates 26 years of being a straight-up class act. Props to her for weathering a lot of crap with dignity, especially considering it wasn't her choice to be a public figure.

I would be more enthusiastic about Rozonda "Chilli" Thomas of TLC turning 35 had she and T-Boz not participated in a reality show to replace Left Eye. So tacky! And don't get me started about the INXS show....

Addiction and self-destruction are issues associated with Pisces, which is certainly not to say that all Pisces will end up like Nancy Spungen, who never even got close to seeing her 48th today. Instead, she was only 20 when she died.

Far, far more destructive in the grand scheme of things is Ralph Nader, who at 72 should really be retired from ruining everything for everyone. Not that I'm bitter.

Her dreamy violet eyes are quintessentially Piscean... Elizabeth Taylor, who has had her own issues with addiction and self-destructive behavior, turns 74.

I was surprised to find that Ariel Sharon is a Pisces; he's known for his resilience, stubbornness and massive appetite, so I naturally assumed he was a Taurus. Turns out he has a Taurus Moon, plus an Aries Ascendant which describes his hawkish, militaristic image. [See his chart on Astrotheme] I'm sorry he's not able to celebrate his 78th in better health, but I send him and his loved ones good wishes.

Birth dates from IMDB.com. Please email me any corrections, additions or -- especially appreciated! -- exact birth times.

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Sunday, February 26, 2006

Kristy & Lloyd: Fire, Earth and Ice

Once in a while a piece of celebrity gossip comes along that is so delicious, I actually experience the release of endorphins while reading about it. Such was the case when I read that my favorite finalists on my favorite show, Skating with Celebrities, Kristy Swanson, a.k.a. O.G. Buffy, and former pairs skating champion Lloyd Eisler have hooked up. [Source] Love it!!! No wonder their skating together has gotten so unbelievably hot. I suppose it's hypocritical of me not to be appalled by Lloyd for leaving his pregnant wife when I have maligned K.Fed so many times. But I just love O.G. Buffy so much, I'm willing to believe her when she says Lloyd and his wife were already split prior to the hookup. [Source]

I was, however, a little distressed when I saw that Kristy is a Sag (see her chart on Astrotheme; no birth time) and Lloyd is a Taurus (birth data source: Wikipedia), because frankly that isn't the greatest match. Okay, it's a pretty crappy match. Sagittarius, a fire sign, is a wanderer who seeks constant adventure while Taurus, an earth sign, is happy with a beer in one hand and the remote in the other.

But Kristy actually has her Moon in Taurus, which is always a good sign for a love partnership (one person's Moon in the other's Sun sign). She also has Saturn in Taurus conjunct Lloyd's Sun, which is a good omen for a binding, committed relationship. And Lloyd, with a Venus-Jupiter conjunction in Aries and Mars in Leo, is a lot more fiery when it comes to love than the average Taurus. His Mars trines Kristy's Venus, which augurs good sexual chemistry. Meanwhile, Kirsty has Mars in Pisces, vibing with Lloyd's Cancer Moon. As usual, I lament not knowing their exact birth times so I could see whether their Moons make exact aspect to planets in each other's chart. But even with the limited data available, and biased though I may perhaps be, I am liking this new couple!

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Saturn and Sheryl's Stellium

Now it is I who am eating crow. In my schadenfreude-filled post on Sheryl Crow and Lance Armstrong's breakup, I stated that:

Both of them kind of annoy me, especially her because she doesn't have a triumphant conquering-cancer story to make me feel guilty about being annoyed by her....

So, when I heard that Sheryl Crow underwent surgery for breast cancer on Wednesday, Feb. 22 (Source: CNN), you can only imagine the shame spiral into which I descended. I sincerely wish Sheryl all the best and send her lots of good luck in her recovery. Furthermore, I would like to take this opportunity to state on the record that I have always secretly liked "Every Day Is a Winding Road" and also that duet she did with Kid Rock, which is an instant karaoke classic.

Sheryl actually has a really interesting chart, with an extremely rare pile-up of six planets in Aquarius, plus the South Node. Uranus, the ruler of this Aquarius stellium, is in Aquarius' opposite sign of Leo. While Uranus is opposing her Sun, the two planets are also in mutual reception, i.e., they're in the signs each other rules and thereby work in concert. Hers is a very strong personality; she doesn't just march to the beat of her own drummer, she walks down the street air-drumming. With the Sun-Uranus opposition, chaos and sudden upheaval are a part of her life; every day is a winding road, with some whiplash-inducing U-turns along the way. (Can U-turns induce whiplash? I don't actually know how to drive....) Unless she was born after 11PM, she has a resilient Taurus Moon to help ground all that airy Aquarius and weather the Uranian storms, though it also makes her stubborn, stick-to-her-guns attitude even more deeply entrenched.

With all these planets in a row and the Moon squaring at least some of them, Sheryl's chart makes Sasha Cohen's look balanced. And when things get stressful or out of control in Sheryl's life, it all piles up at once. The transiting Saturn-Chiron opposition in Leo/Aquarius, for instance, is hitting Sheryl pretty hard -- obviously, as she's been faced with a public breakup as well as a life-threatening disease. On the day of Sheryl's surgery, transiting Chiron, the "wounded" planetoid, was hovering between Sheryl's Mars and Saturn, with Saturn opposing them. This is definitely a trying time for her; with Saturn opposing her Saturn, she is at a key moment of reckoning in her life cycle. Meanwhile, on Wednesday, the transiting Sun was approaching a conjunction to her natal Chiron, describing the surgery. With the Moon waning in its third quarter, Wednesday was a good time for surgery to have something removed. Her prognosis is very positive, and with her Sun-Jupiter conjunction she possesses the vitality and optimism that are so valuable to the healing and recovery process.

There is still a bumpy road ahead for Sheryl in many aspects of her life, as retrograde Saturn will station directly opposite her natal Saturn on April 5. From there it will move forward to oppose all six of those Aquarius planets in 2006, before turning retrograde directly opposite her Venus in December 2006 and hitting her Sun-Jupiter again before stationing on her North Node in April '07. Saturn makes its last contact with Sheryl's Venus on August 1, 2007, marking the close of what will be a challenging, almost fateful time for her. Over the next couple of years she will take stock of her life, her career and her relationships. This is a time of karmic spring cleaning. The good news is that with so many planets in fixed signs, Sheryl already has a very solid sense of who she is and what she's all about. Saturn comes down hardest on people who are fake and in denial, while rewarding people who make the effort to work on themselves throughout their lives. Hopefully this year will be Sheryl's chance to clear out anything that is not working in her life and reap the rewards of everything that is. I wish her lots of luck in her recovery and any other Saturnian challenges that come her way.

Not to get all PSA-y, but I would be remiss not to post the link to the Lance Armstrong Foundation plus some links to breast cancer information and donation opportunities:
Susan G. Komen Breast Cancer Foundation
BreastCancer.org
National Breast Cancer Foundation

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