Oscar Predictions I: Best Actress

And so it begins!

The astrological Academy Awards predictions start NOW. Here's how it works: I check out the birth horoscopes of the nominees and predict the winners. If you win your Oscar pool, you are welcome to send me a gift. If you lose, you are welcome to e-mail me scorn and derision. And now, on with the idle speculation!

First category up: Best Actress. Every single one of these women is a fire sign! This is gonna be a grand girlfight, peeps....

Judi Dench
Born: 12/9/34, York, UK; no birth time
See Judi Dench's horoscope (Source: Astrotheme)
Judi Dench was not even in a movie this year, but due to the Academy's bylaws she must receive an annual nomination regardless. I actually kind of like the looks of Venus in Aquarius and Saturn in Leo right on her nodes. Venus (value, worth) in Aquarius (sign of public perception) on the karmic North Node, opposed by Saturn (official recognition) in Leo (creativity, self-expression), could bring Judi the Academy's stamp of approval. And she's having her Jupiter return, which is always a good-luck sign, though it's six degrees off from exact at the time of the Oscars. I dunno, I'm not bowled over. Let's move on to...

Felicity Huffman
Born: 12/9/62, Bedford, NY; no birth time
See Felicity Huffman's horoscope (Source: Astrotheme)
Isn't it interesting that Judi Dench and Felicity Huffman share a birthday, a few decades apart? And she also has Venus-Saturn on her Nodes, though in reverse: Venus is on Felicity's South Node. At first glance I felt like that didn't bode well; nor does Chiron in Aquarius on Felicity's Saturn and, most importantly, transiting Saturn opposing her natal Saturn. This is definitely a momentous time for Felicity, but it seems to pose some challenges for her as well. Then I looked at her chart again and I was like, what was I, blind? [See note] Jupiter is freakin' conjuncting her Venus-Neptune, hello! Such a lucky aspect, especially for someone who so completely disguised her femininity (Venus) for a role; Neptune rules illusion, as well as the glamour of Hollywood. Uranus is on her Jupiter, which could bring sudden and unexpected luck (though it's also on her Chiron, so you never know -- apparently good fortune for Felicity almost always has a downside). Uranus is also associated with unconventional, transgressive behavior, including "alternative" sexuality and gender identity. So its contact with her Jupiter (luck) could describe the great opportunities that Transamerica has brought her. I may be biased because I adore Felicity and her hubby, William H. Macy, since they seem like real people and are definitely real actors. But after re-reviewing her chart, I actually think she will take this one. And I think all that Saturn stuff signifies that she is at a turning point in her life and professional career, having worked so hard to get where she is. Or it just means that once she gets back to the Desperate Housewives set with an Emmy AND an Oscar, those jealous bitches are going to make her life a living hell.

Keira Knightley
Born: 3/22/1983, Teddington, UK; no birth time
See Keira Knightley's horoscope (Source: Astrotheme)
Keira Knightley? Really? Are you kidding me? You're kidding me, right? Okay, well, um, this is weird and scary and doesn't make much sense, but based on her aspects alone, you can't totally count her out. Uranus is squaring her Jupiter, which could describe a surprise upset win. Venus in Aquarius is squaring her natal Venus-Saturn opposition, which could bring validation, and Pluto is conjucting her Neptune, which could represent a massive change in her image as an actress -- say, increased cred and clout. However, for a relatively ingenuey actress like Keira, these aspects could simply describe the nomination itself elevating her status in Hollywood, to the point where she has more options in terms of roles and brings home a bigger paycheck. Lucky Jupiter in Scorpio is inconjunct her Mars in Aries, ruler of her Sun, which means she may need to adjust her M.O. and be less direct, more manipulative, in order to take advantage of her good fortune.

Charlize Theron
Born: 8/7/1975, Benoni, South Africa; no birth time
See Charlize Theron's horoscope (Source: Astrotheme)
Nope. I got nothin' for ya. Sorry, hon. Your fake-baked butt can slink right back down that red carpet. You already have one hit-with-the-ugly-stick-in-the-name-of-art award, so that's something anyway.

Reese Witherspoon
Born: 3/22/1976, New Orleans, LA; no birth time
See Reese Witherspoon's horoscope (Source: Astrotheme)
La Reese is a true Aries, as evidenced by the fact that she called her production company Type A Productions. (This also makes me think she was born later in the day, with a hardworking, driven Capricorn Moon rather than a lackadaisical, off-in-all-directions Sag Moon.) The North Node is transiting Reese's Sun, which could be a sign that she is ready to fulfill some part of her karmic potential. Pluto could be on her Moon, were she born early in the A.M., but again I'm thinking that's unlikely. Uranus is on her Venus, which could bring a major change of fortune either way...either an unexpected windfall or a surprise loss. Given that she is the front-runner, I'm inclined to think any surprises Uranus brings won't be happy ones.

Conclusion: Wonder of wonders, Ms. Witherspoon might just go home empty-handed. I do like Keira Knightley's aspects, but astrological predictions have to be made in context of the rational scope of possibility. For someone at the point in her career that Keira is, those status-changing aspects could simply represent that it's an "honor just to be nominated" -- the Oscar nod itself has sent her Hollywood stock skyrocketing. Now, I like Jupiter on Felicity's Venus-Neptune and Uranus on her Jupiter, especially the way it describes both the upset win and the gender-bending nature of her role. I'm picturing F.Huff at that podium -- and with Pluto conjuncting her Mercury, she might make a fiery political statement in her speech.

UPDATE: This post has been edited from the original post, because I was blind when I originally posted it. No, seriously, I was in the throes of a pre-migraine and was literally blinded. It was actually really freaky. That's what happens when you stare at a monitor for 15 hours a day, I guess. Go figure.

More Oscar predictions: Best Actor | The Oscar Night Astrological Chart | Best Picture