Saturday, February 18, 2006

Celeb Birthdays: February 18

Quite a few cool Aquarius people were born today, or at least people I grew up thinking were cool in the '80s....

While it's often mentioned that Molly Ringwald, who epitomized cool throughout my girlhood, was John Hughes' Brat Pack muse, I've never heard it mentioned that they share a birthday (she's 38, he's 56). No wonder she was so successful at embodying his characters onscreen.

Living-legendary rapper-producer Dr. Dre is 41 and still cool, though he loses points for homophobia.

I can't believe my lifelong crush Matt Dillon is 42. I would really like to see him win an Oscar, as I feel he was not only awesome in Crash but also overlooked early in his career for two of my favorite movies, Over the Edge and The Outsiders.

Thetan-free actor John Travolta seemed very cool and crushable circa Grease, but the whole Scientology thing kinda ruined that. Less Xenu, more Olivia Newton-John!

Cybill Shepherd certainly used to seem cool in the '80s, but now that she is 56 I just associate her with those mean TV movies she made about my beloved Martha Stewart.

Styx's frontman Dennis DeYoung, 59, will always seem cool to me.

Feminist author Audre Lorde would have been 72 today. She was very Aquarian in her radical politics and the way she engaged with gender, race, class and sexuality in her writing; I highly recommend her beautiful book Zami: A New Spelling of My Name.

Birth dates from IMDB.com. Please email me any corrections, additions or -- especially appreciated! -- exact birth times.

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Update: Nicole and Keith's Scorpio Connection

How much do j'adore Astrotheme, the French astrology site I recently discovered? After supplying me with a birth time for her ex the other day, Astrotheme also yielded a birth time for Miss Nicole Kidman, whose relationship with Keith Urban I recently chronicled here. ("Never Mind Keith -- Can Nicole Commit?")

Now, as I noted previously, Astrotheme does not list sources for birth time, that I could find anyway, so I can't vouch for where this data comes from and whether it has been confirmed. But just for fun, I plugged in the birth time to see whether it might account for the chemistry between Nicole and Keith, which seemed kinda lacking without their complete charts. Sadly, Astrotheme doesn't have a birth time for Keith. But getting a more exact picture of Nicole's chart does show a bit more in the way of a bond between them -- and I do mean a bit.

The 3:15 PM birth time gives Nicole a 6° Scorpio Ascendant, which is loosely conjunct Keith's Sun and puts his Mercury and Neptune in her first house. But his Sun is conjuncting her Ascendant from the 12th house, which is not such a great placement for a partnership. Keith's Scorpio Sun in Nicole's 12th could mean that he supports her from behind the scenes, but also might mean that on some level he is subtly manipulating and undermining her. Either way it seems like a weird dynamic for a relationship between two people who are stars in their own right. And yes, her Moon at 13° Sag squares his Venus, which could be kind of a sexy aspect, but with his Venus in Virgo in her 11th house of friends and acquaintances, it just doesn't seem like a very romantic aspect.

A composite chart showing their relationship dynamic is interesting, with five planets in Virgo. The Sun and Venus are very closely conjunct at 0° Virgo while Mercury, Pluto and Uranus are piled up in later degrees. Now, this does show an extremely tight bond, but perhaps almost a suffocating one. Without Keith's birth time, a composite can only tell me so much, but the dynamic seems kind of neurotic and repressive. Mars and Neptune conjunct in Scorpio certainly point to an erotic charge, but with all that Virgo this seems like a tightly managed relationship that doesn't really allow them to let their hair down.

This birth time could, again, be incorrect, and certainly the picture is still incomplete in any case without Keith's exact time of birth. But as yet I'm simply not seeing strong indicators that Nicole and Keith will last. There's something weird about that composite to me.

See Nicole's complete chart and Keith's noon-default-birth time chart on Astrotheme.

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Friday, February 17, 2006

Whither TomKat?

Like many a second-rate astrologer, Life & Style magazine has mastered the art of the cover-your-ass prediction, which cannot be disproved either way. See, they already told us Tom and Katie would continue to pretend to be together through the spring, so issuing a denial is a bit like saying, "No, I haven't stopped beating my wife -- I mean -- d'oh!" (Full story: CNN) Of course, time will ultimately tell if TomKat splits, just as we will eventually learn what, if anything, is actually growing inside Katie's belly. But anyway, what light can astrology shed on this rumor? Could it be that the shamtastic duo are really ready to give up the ruse -- I mean, have realized they're not right for each other?

Because TomKat is an entity unto itself, which seems to have taken on a life and personality of its own quite different from anything we saw out of Tom or Katie pre-pairing, the composite chart is a perfect format in which to analyze their relationship. A composite chart is a chart that takes two people's birth charts and basically averages them out, creating a portrait of the relationship dynamic.

In TomKat's case, the relationship dynamic appears to be a rather unstable one, with mutable signs on all four angles. Virgo is rising, with its ruler Mercury tightly conjunct from the first house. Mercury rules communication; Virgo represents control; and certainly from the beginning, this relationship has been all about announcing itself and managing the face it presents to the world (the Ascendant represents surface appearances). However, control-freak Mercury in Virgo is opposed by Mars in supersensitive Pisces in the 7th house of relationships, creating the possibility of verbal and physical outbursts in which someone might ... oh, I dunno ... jump on a couch, shake their fists in the air, and announce their love to the world? Just throwing that out there. The Sun, representing the core of the relationship, is conjunct erratic, unpredictable (and rather kinky) Uranus in Libra, the sign of partnership. Again, this is a volatile union; TomKat wants to shock the world with its love.

Worrisomely, if that is a word, relationship planet Venus, in her own sign of romantic Libra, is in an out-of-sign conjunction to controlling Pluto in Virgo. Hidden under the surface of their hearts-and-flowers romance is an intense power dynamic. There is no sense of privacy between the two individuals in the relationship with Pluto breathing down Venus's neck and asking it if it's really going to leave the house wearing that. Pluto might even ... oh, I dunno ... buy a sonogram machine so it can keep an eye on the contents of Venus' uterus. Echoing this theme of a love bound by power and control, Saturn and Neptune are tightly conjunct in secretive, power-hungry Scorpio, near the cusp of Tomkat's fourth house of home and family. Saturn rules limitations, restrictions, responsibilities and the imposition of authority. Neptune rules fantasy, deception and illusion, along with the glamour and mystique that attend celebrities. It's almost as if some iron-clad responsibility is keeping the TomKat household bound to maintaining some sort of illusion. What could this possibly mean?

If indeed there is a facade being maintained at Camp Tomkat, the question becomes one of when the cracks will start to appear. Based on transits to the TomKat composite, I'm going to guess early to mid-May. The Life & Style story came out with transiting Mercury and Uranus opposing the Tomkat Ascendant at 9° Virgo. By May, Uranus will be opposing Tomkat's Mercury, ruler of the Ascendant -- and opposing that volatile 7th-house Mars. An unexpected outburst could blow the whole thing wide open. Also at that time, retrograde Jupiter in Scorpio will be trining Mars and sextiling Mercury, offering an opportunity to grow and move on by making a clean break with the past. Transiting Pluto in Sagittarius will be squaring the Pluto in TomKat's chart, perhaps auguring a groundswell of revelations about the power dynamic in their relationship. And Saturn will be coming up on the composite Moon in Leo while Chiron opposes it, sticking a cork in TomKat's effusive outpouring of love. Since Saturn rules the father and the Moon rules the mother, this could also signal an attempt by Tom to control Katie's parenting style or impose limits on her relationship with her child. By this point, the pressures of their tightly controlled Virgo-rising relationship may have built up to a boiling point. Also, in May, Pluto will be right on Katie's free-spirited Sagittarian Sun, and she may no longer be able to squelch her own ego or suppress her true personality. Pluto has a way of finding the skeletons in people's closets and putting them on display. And come May, there could be quite a stampede out of the closet.

A note on data: I found Tom's birth time on the fantastique French astrology site Astrotheme, which I just discovered and am enchantée by. The only downside is that there is no source given for the birth time, so I can't be certain it's reliable (sometimes the data comes straight from a birth certificate; other times it's hearsay and not necessarily accurate). In any case, I have decided to use the birth time in the absence of another viable option and just take it with a grain of salt until I get confirmation.

Check out Tom's and Katie's charts on Astrotheme. (To give you a sense of how comprehensive this site is, they also have John Holmes' birth chart.) As always, please email me any confirmation or correction of birth data, or post a comment.

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Today's Birfdays: February 17

As we approach the Aquarius-Pisces cusp, these celebs are celebrating.

The Skank Whore Who Shall Not Be Named, For Publicity Feeds Her Horrible Power, is doubtless congratulating herself for 25 years of leeching off society and spreading venereal infections. Does it surprise anyone that this egoholic has a Leo Moon? Look away, look away!

Though he may be 32, Jerry O'Connell will never stop being the fat kid from Stand by Me, no matter how many Scorpio supermodels he dates. Never!

Billie Joe Armstrong of Green Day seems to have changed not at all in his 34 years. Nor has his band's mediocre music. Yeah, I said it!

If only Aquarius Denise Richards (left) had been born a couple days later, she would have been a Pisces, and therefore a great match for Virgo Charlie Sheen. Instead, she'll be spending her 35th in the process of ending one of the zodiac's most incompatible pairings. Seriously, Aquarius-Virgo? So wrong!

How appropriate that Michael Jordan, who was the face of the Bulls for many years, has a Taurus Ascendant. Check out his complete chart (Astrotheme).

Seems to be a big day for skanks, as Janice Dickinson now has 53 years to erase from her face.

Birth dates from IMDB.com. Please email me any corrections, additions or -- especially appreciated! -- exact birth times.

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Thursday, February 16, 2006

Britney in Retrograde

You all probably know the Rx symbol as standing for prescriptions. But in astrology, Rx is the symbol for "retrograde," when a planet goes behind the Sun and appears to turn backward as seen from Earth. When planets are retrograde, the energies they represent operate in strange, inverted, sometimes counterproductive way. In general it may feel like things are moving backward rather than forward.

I mention this because when I saw these (somewhat recent) photos of Britney in Las Vegas, the first thing that crossed my mind was "She's in retrograde rehab!" On some psychic level, Britney's T-shirt may be expressing a cosmic truth. Certainly it seems like she has been going downhill lately; if I had a nickel for every time I heard the phrase "let herself go" with regard to La Brit, I could buy my own customized Ferrari with astrological symbols on the rims. (Is that what they're called? Rims? I really don't drive...) Anyhoo, I choose to believe that Britney herself is in a sort of retrograde, and her shirt is a cry for help.

Britney's progressed chart, which is a way of showing how a person has evolved over the course of her life, shows a very intense configuration right now. Over the years, her progressed Sun (core personality and self-image) has moved from free-spirited Sag into pragmatic Capricorn. Just as significantly, it has pulled away from the conjunction to her natal and progressed Neptune, the planet of glamour and fantasy, that heralded her heyday as a pop icon (by 2003, when Britney backlash had set in big-time, the progressed Sun was six degrees away from the Neptunes (natal and progressed planets, not the production group). In Britney's progressed chart, the Sun and Moon are now conjunct in Capricorn, squaring her Mars in Libra in the 12th house and sextiling Jupiter in Scorpio in the 1st house. This is a new beginning for her with opportunities for transformative growth, but she will have to work and struggle against her own self-defeating habits to make that change happen. Meanwhile, Saturn and Pluto are straddling the Ascendant, marking a make-or-break moment for how she sees herself and presents herself to the world. This further emphasizes the idea that Brit may be headed for a process of transformation that teaches her some tough lessons, but not without growing pains. Let's hope so, because Britney clearly does need psychic rehabilitation to reverse her current downhill momentum.

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Today's Birfdays: February 15-16

Sorry for the catch-up post, but frankly, folks, nobody at all interesting was born yesterday save Simpsons creator Matt Groening, who turned 52. (Plus, I was out drinking. Shoutout to überfabulous drag performer Shasta Cola, a Pisces with Capricorn rising.) Now, on to today's Aquarius babies.

Tennis star John McEnroe has mellowed over his 47 years. He clearly should never have married a Scorpio like Tatum O'Neil; current wife Patty Smyth, a Cancer, makes for a much less volatile union. Check out J-Mac's complete chart (Astropro).

Even IMDB doesn't know the zodiac sign of 48(!)-year-old rapper Ice-T's wife Nicole, but I would be willing to wager that she does have some Cancer in her chart, considering it rules the breasts.

Here's a handy way to date yourself! When you think of 49-year-old LeVar Burton, do you picture his shackles in Roots or that ridiculous banana clip he wore over his eyes on Star Trek? Me, I picture him doing eyeball exercises on Reading Rainbow.

Believe it or not, William Katt is 55 today. And I bet I'm the FIRST PERSON EVER to make that joke! (Did you get it? Because that's another handy way to date yourself, BTW.)

Is it not, like, so cosmic that UB40 and Chrissie Hynde's cover of "I Got You Babe" was playing as I discovered that Sonny Bono would have been 71 today?

Birth dates from IMDB.com. Please email me any corrections, additions or -- especially appreciated! -- exact birth times.

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Tuesday, February 14, 2006

Today's Birfdays: February 14

On the train home this evening, I overheard a man telling his friend that today was his birthday and that it kind of sucked having Valentine's Day as your birthday when he was single, especially since everyone was always busy. So, take a moment to feel some compassion for these Aquarians, although now that they're famous they probably have no problem getting people to hang out with them on V-Day.

If I didn't have figure skating on the brain right now, I don't know that I would consider Yuka Sato's 33rd worth noting.

Forget what I said about compassion when it comes to Rob Thomas spending any of his 34 Valentine's Days alone, as Matchbox 20 is a blight upon this earth for which no personal bad karma for Rob can begin to compensate.

I don't know whether to be proud or deeply ashamed that I immediately recognized James Eckhouse's name while scrolling down IMDB's birthday shoutout page. Happy 51st, Jim Walsh!

The Uranus-ruled sign of Aquarius is sometimes associated with kinky preferences and socially unacceptable sexual orientation. Happy 59th, Pat O'Brien!

Note to self: Run and analyze birth chart for NYC Mayor Michael Bloomberg, who's 64 today. I have mixed feelings about his leadership, but I do appreciate how he's managed to keep his ego removed from public affairs in true Aquarian style. No word on whether he has kinky sexual proclivities, but wouldn't that be fun to read about in the Post?

There's definitely a whiff of kink about Florence Henderson, even though she's 72 and super-religious, but perhaps it's just that her syndicated MILF Carol Brady inspired generations of Freudian fantasies.

Birth dates from IMDB.com. Please email me any corrections, additions or -- especially appreciated! -- exact birth times.

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Monday, February 13, 2006

Dick Cheney: The Buck Shots Here

I'm so happy that we live in a free, democratic society in which our leaders only shoot people in the course of the pursuit of happiness, leisure activity and, of course, enjoying their God-given right to bear arms. [CNN: "Cheney accidentally shoots fellow hunter"] Seriously, though, what is up with Cheney? Is he, as I have long suspected, a killer robot who eats old people's medicine for fuel? At the risk of attracting goverment surveillance to Media-Darling.com (hey, at least I could use the repeat traffic), I just had to take a gander at his chart.

Cheney's Sun and Mercury are in Aquarius, his Venus is in businesslike Capricorn, and his Jupiter-Saturn conjunction joins his Uranus in Taurus, none of which exactly does much to dispel the whole killer-robot notion. On the day of the incident, El Dicko was experiencing a rather violent aspect in transiting Mars just moving out of orb of a conjunction to Uranus in Taurus, and closely approaching a sextile (opportunity) to his Chiron (wounding) in the 11th house (friends and associates).

But other aspects show Cheney in his element, hitting his cosmic stride. Venus is approaching its natal position (the Venus return) and the Sun is approaching a conjunction to his natal Mercury, while transiting Mars is closing in on his Midheaven. Uranus, ruler of his Sun-Mercury, has just sextiled his powerful Jupiter-Saturn in Taurus in the 9th house, presenting risky new financial opportunities in foreign lands (gee). Honestly, this seems like rather a positive time for the Dickster overall. Nothing much in the way of the trauma or upheaval you'd expect from someone who was appalled to find himself responsible for a shocking, violent incident. I will leave it you, dear reader, to draw your own conclusions from this information, but I would not be surprised if Cheney's hunting acquaintance happened to be on some particularly delicious prescriptions.

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Today's Birfdays: February 13

The universe kinda skimped on celebs today, but please take a moment to honor these kickass Aquarians:

Punk poet-commentator-anger manager Henry Rollins could probably still kick your ass six ways till Sunday at age 45.

Art-rocker Peter Gabriel probably never kicked anyone's ass and isn't going to start at 56.

Jerry Springer has witnessed a lot of ass-kickings in his 62 years, and frankly his show hasn't been the same since security started breaking them up.

Peter Tork, now 63, was my favorite Monkee growing up, and I really can't think of a good way to integrate him into the ass-kicking motif.

Birth dates from IMDB.com. Please email me any corrections, additions or -- especially appreciated! -- exact birth times.

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Sunday, February 12, 2006

Michelle Kwan's Taurus Moon Dream Denied

Like all red-blooded American women, I loves me some figure skating. The triple threat of artistry, athleticism and pure cheese just gets me every time. Now, I have adored Michelle Kwan for years and was heartbroken that the stars did not align for her to snag the gold in the last two Olympics. With her injured and qualifying for Torino only via special dispensation, I was practically biting my nails to the quick with worry over Michelle's prospects for capping her career with the gold. I know I have no way of proving this to you, dear reader, but I was actually already at work on a post about ladies' figure skating predictions when I read to my horror on PerezHilton.com that Michelle cut her first practice short after not skating up to snuff. Then, this morning, a long-distance Libra friend awoke me with the dreadful news that our worst fears were confirmed: Michelle is withdrawing from the competition. [CNN/SI.com]

Born on July 7, 1980 in Torrance, California (33N50/118W20), Michelle is a Cancer with her Sun conjunct Venus, describing the beauty, grace and elegance she exudes both on the rink and in her poised presence off it. Zodiacal Zephyr's listing on Michelle gives a 1pm PDT birth time for her, with "Blades on Ice" magazine as a source, but the same page notes below that there is no birth time on record for her, and gives totally incorrect coordinates for Torrance, so the validity of the 1pm time is sketchy at best. (Pretty-please, email me if you have a confirmation or correction.) Plugging in the 1pm birth time would give Michelle a Libra Ascendant, enhancing the aura of grace, beauty and artistry Venus bestows on her, and would place her Sun/Mercury conjunction straddling the Cancer Midheaven (highest career aspiration). So it could be a plausible chart for her, although I must stress again that this is unconfirmed birth time and hence all house placements are conjecture.

Michelle's Moon, the ruler of her Cancer Sun, is elevated in Taurus and in mutual reception with Venus, i.e., the two planets reinforce and vibrate off each other. Taurus is the sign of wealth and value and is associated with gold. It also rules value in the non-material sense, of self-worth and moral fiber. With Mars conjunct Saturn in Virgo, she has a tremendous ability to discipline and harness her mental and physical energy; Saturn trines her Sun and sextiles Mercury and Uranus, so she is someone who plays by the rules, with strong internalized standards of right and wrong. Michelle has always been known for her poise and class, and her decision to step aside so that someone else can compete (even if it has to be Emily hUGHes) is testament to her rock-solid values. She has too much respect for the Olympics to put her own ego ahead of the team's chances for gold. As terribly painful as it must be to let go of her dream, it was better to bow out than push forward with an Olympic performance that didn't live up to her own inner gold standard. Interestingly, depending on her exact birth time, Michelle's exalted Taurus Moon could well be conjunct the planetoid Chiron, the "wounded healer," which may describe the paradox of how she has defined excellence in figure skating even while her personal dream of gold has remained perpetually elusive. She also has an unaspected Jupiter, the planet that conveys fortune and opportunity.

Since late last year, transiting Uranus in Pisces has been opposing Michelle's Jupiter in Virgo, creating an environment where anything is possible and reversals of fortune -- for better or worse -- can happen lightning-fast. Virgo rules physical health, and in some ways her fate has been out of her control and up to her body. And at the time of the announcement, transiting Jupiter was approaching a conjunction to her natal Uranus, fostering further instability and unpredictability. This is understandably a time when Michelle might feel like the rug has been yanked out from under her, as she faces life for the first time in memory without Olympic aspirations. These Jupiter/Uranus contacts can be whiplash-sudden in their emotional impact and can feel like the world is turning upside down. But when the shock is past they can also be liberating. It may be daunting for Michelle to redefine herself with her medalist days behind her, but she may also experience an almost giddy sense of relief that the pressure is lifted. At last she can ease up on some of that tight three-planets-in-Virgo self-discipline and allow herself to fully experience life as a creative, sensitive Cancer. Michelle may be moving on from the competitive phase of her life, but her life as an artist is far from over. Once she recovers from the heartbreak of letting her dream go, she may experience a new creative awakening. As if it weren't obvious from the slavish adoration of this post, I wish Michelle all the best of luck in beginning this new phase!!!

Stay tuned for a full figure skating prediction post, as soon as I get past my overwhelming grief. Also, while Googling Sasha Cohen's birth data I came upon birth data for Sacha Baron Cohen, a.k.a. comic genius Ali G. -- so his chart is on my to-do list as well.

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Today's Birfdays: February 12

The famous peeps born today definitely personify the mold-breaking, convention-defying, social-commenting Aquarius archetype. Incidentally, 212 is one of my lucky numbers.

Ethereal Aquarian and Hollywood veteran Christina Ricci is only 26 but so obviously an old soul.

Twisted-genius director Darren Aronofsky, 37, has also amassed quite the body of work for his age. Come to think of it, he might be a good match for Miss Ricci -- if not romantically, at least they'd make one sick movie together.

The Doors' Ray Manzarek has experienced his share of Aquarian rebellion and mind expansion but is still around to ring in his 67th.

Although she is now 68, author Judy Blume will always be inextricably linked in my mind with the onset of menstruation.

Few individuals so completely embody the Aquarian values of progressive, egalitarian, humanitarian thinking as Abraham Lincoln, who would have been 197 today had his life not been tragically cut short. Well, okay, maybe not, but a lot of what he said still feels totally contemporary and relevant. Like all the most evolved Aquarians, he was a way-ahead-of-his-time thinker.

Birth dates from IMDB.com. Please email me any corrections, additions or -- especially appreciated! -- exact birth times.

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