Celeb Birthdays: March 25

Thank the heavens, Mercury is direct! It's still moving slowly, so pace yourself and don't get frustrated by delays in travel -- better a hangup than an accident, 'k?

Now, on to the birthdays. Aries is ruled by Mars, and some fairly fierce, take-charge females were born today, from pro athletes to soap divas to sexperts. Plus, some token boys.

Representing for the Y chromosome is actor Sean Faris, who celebrates his 24th. The kids today seem to like him. See Sean Faris's astrological chart (Astrotheme, no birth time)

Race car driver Danica Patrick, representing for the aggressive, driven (no pun intended) Aries spirit, is proud to be considered a fast woman at 24. See Danica Patrick's astrological chart (Astrotheme, no birth time)

It would be so easy to make a joke about rapper Juvenile having outgrown his name at 31, but that is not the kind of low-hanging-fruit humor we employ here at Media-Darling.com! Instead, I would like to take the high road and mention his efforts to help rebuild his native New Orleans. I suggest you buy his new CD, Reality Check, in support of his post-Katrina efforts. Back that azz up for America!

Another athletic Aries woman, WNBA star Sheryl Swoopes, is 35. Can I just say how awesome I think she is for coming out? I know people are all like, "Gee, a lesbian WNBA star, what a shock" -- but it's actually really brave to be an openly gay woman in a field where people are paranoid about being stereotyped.

What is it with the pioneering, kick-ass-and-take-no-prisoners Aries chicks today? Figure skater Debi Thomas, the first African-American Winter Olympics medalist, is 39.

If you were expecting me to gush over Sarah Jessica Parker, think again. I just don't trust that bobble-headed creature, with her beady little eyes and her big fake smile. She celebrates 41 years of pretending to be a sassy, empowered Aries chick while secretly setting women back decades. See Sarah Jessica Parker's astrological chart (Astrotheme, no birth time)

Marcia Cross looks fabulous at 44 and gets bonus points (1) for being an insane, undead baby-snatcher on Melrose Place; (2) for being an insane Martha clone on Desperate Housewives; and (3) because her dad plays golf with my grandfather. Her DH costar Brenda Strong is coincidentally 46 today; I really know nothing about her, but at least her name fits today's feminist theme. See Marcia Cross's astrological chart (Astrotheme, no birth time)

So does that of sexpert Susie Bright, who celebrates 48 years of open-minded fun.

Fitting right in with these bitches-to-be-reckoned-with is Sir Elton John, a newlywed at 58. Mazel tov, Elton! See Elton John's astrological chart (Astrotheme)

The Scorpio-rising Queen of Soul, Aretha Franklin, is 64. See Aretha Franklin's astrological chart (Astrotheme)

Also Scorpio-rising, Gloria Steinem would probably not appreciate being called a bitch to be reckoned with, even if I meant it as the highest compliment, which I would. So I'll just wish her a happy 72nd and offer the maddest of props. See Gloria Steinem's astrological chart (Astrotheme)

Film critic Gene Shalit is 74. I'm not sure how to integrate him into the feminist theme, but I would like to say I think those Brokeback Mountain fanatics need to stop hating on him. Hello, not liking a movie does not make you a homophobe!

Tragically, lupus took the life of Flannery O'Connor. She wrote many books before death came upon her. [Source] She would have been just 81 today. Fa ril, if you haven't read the short story "Everything That Rises Must Converge," please do so immediately.

Birth dates from IMDB.com. Please email me any corrections, additions or -- especially appreciated! -- exact birth times.

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Update: Cameron Confirmed to Be a Controlling Virgo

Aha! The New York Daily News has totally corroborated my analysis of Justin Timberlake and Cameron Diaz's relationship. I so knew she was not all like, "La la, I'm a free-spirited surfer girl, tee hee," like she acts.

"Justin has told friends he's 'confused,'" one informant tells us. "He likes Cameron a lot. But he's 25. He says he just doesn't know how committed he can be. He needs space. Cameron is a little controlling." [Source]

Well, DUH, she's a Virgo with a Cancer Moon -- of COURSE she's a little controlling. (Cameron Diaz's birth chart; Astrotheme) This space-needing business is exactly the dynamic I envisioned between them in my March 9 post:

I'm guessing that from moment one, Cameron has been trying to sink her claws of commitment into Justin while he bobs and weaves. She's all, "Where is this going? What am I to you? Can I keep a toothbrush and a change of underwear here?" and he's all, "Whoa, why does it have to be about labels? Can't we just, like, live in the moment? Why don't you just turn your underwear inside out?" Okay, maybe not that last part, but you get the picture. With all that air and fire, Justin does not need an earth-sign ball and chain like Cameron. And in fairness, she certainly doesn't need a hard-to-pin-down Aquarian constantly denying her the sense of security her Taurus Moon craves. [Source]

I've said it before and I'll say it again: Aquarius-Virgo matches are bad news. An Aquarius with Moon in Sagittarius like Justin (see Justin Timberlake's birth chart; Astrotheme) can't deal with the stifling factor of an obsessive-compulsive Virgo and needs a more flexible, spontaneous partner like... oh, I don't know, say, a Sagittarius with an Aquarius Moon. Huzzah, let the Justin-Britney reunion watch begin!

Update: Timberlake's rep, Ken Sunshine, calls this report "garbage." [Source] And clearly, no one named Sunshine would ever possibly try to put a positive spin on a sucky situation. Ken, dear, a word of advice: The Sun is about as prominent in the birth horoscope as it is in your name. No amount of publicist denial can hide the fundamental incompatibility of the Aquarius-Virgo couple.

This post has been edited since it was originally posted to include links to birth charts and the publicist rebuttal. Why the revision, you ask? Maybe because Mercury went direct between then and now?

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Celeb Birthdays: March 23-24

Dear readers, I apologize for being a bit behind the curve on the post, but this Mercury retrograde through Pisces is killing me. These are strange days -- when else but a retrograde Mercury-Uranus conjunction in Pisces would there be fire on the ocean? The Mercury retrograde ends on March 25; I don't want to freak anyone out, but please be patient and exercise caution over the next few days. Remain calm and celebrate these B- and C-list celebrity birthdays -- among which I am thrilled to include one of my very favorite B-licious babes, pictured at right.

March 23

Hair model, I mean actress, Keri Russell is all of 30 years old. See Keri Russell's astrological chart (Astrotheme, no birth time)

At 41, Richard Grieco is no longer even the poor man's Johnny Depp. See Richard Grieco's astrological chart (Astrotheme, no birth time)

The venerable Scorpio-rising Chaka Khan can still rock and be rocked at 53. See Chaka Khan's astrological chart (Astrotheme)

Wow, Ric Ocasek has been married to fellow Aries Paulina Porizkova since 1989. Wonder if she'll order his birthday cake from FreshDirect? See Ric Ocasek's astrological chart (Astrotheme, no birth time)

March 24

The adorable actress who embodies one of my most cherished characters of all time, one Willow Rosenberg, turns 32 today. Happy birthday, Alyson Hannigan! See my beloved Alyson Hannigan's astrological chart (Astrotheme, no birth time)

The deeply scary Star Jones has caused mortals to quake and children to cry for 44 years now.

Designer Tommy Hilfiger, whose clothes I enjoy about as much as I do Mondrian's paintings, turns 55. The much classier Bob Mackie is 66. See Tommy Hilfiger's astrological chart (Astrotheme) | See Bob Mackie's astrological chart (Astrotheme)

Director Curtis Hanson is 61 today. See Curtis Hanson's astrological chart (Astrotheme, no birth time)

Birth dates from IMDB.com. Please email me any corrections, additions or -- especially appreciated! -- exact birth times.

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Dolly, Lama

For quite some time now, I have been convinced that Dolly Parton is in fact a boddhisatva, a fully enlightened being who has incarnated on earth one final time before ascending to nirvana, just to spread light, joy and love. Clearly, Dolly's iconically ample bosom is a physical manifestation of her extraordinarily abundant heart chakra energy. Since seeing her perform her Oscar-nominated song "Travelin' Through" at the Academy Awards -- totally solo, I might add, without accompaniment or gratuitous, cringe-inducing interpretive dancers -- I have been inspired to spread the word that is Dolly. I mean, leaving aside the Jesus reference, does it get more Buddhist than these "Travelin' Thru" lyrics?

"Well I can't tell you where I'm going, I'm not sure of where I've been
But I know I must keep travelin' till my road comes to an end
I'm out here on my journey, trying to make the most of it
I'm a puzzle, I must figure out where all my pieces fit....

Questions I have many, answers but a few
But we're here to learn, the spirit burns, to know the greater truth
We've all been crucified and they nailed Jesus to the tree
And when I'm born again, you're gonna see a change in me...." [Source]

Dolly's place of birth is a matter of some dispute; some online sources locate her in or near Locust Ridge, Tennessee, while others claim she was born in Sevierville, TN. Luckily, the different locations yield only a Kraft-single-width movement in the birth chart wheel, so we can analyze Dolly's horoscope with confidence. See Dolly Parton's astrological chart (Astrotheme, using Locust Ridge coordinates)

The warmth and affection that Dolly exudes and attracts with her very presence is all over her chart. Her Capricorn Sun conjuncts Venus, the planet of love and relationships; both planets square expansive Jupiter in Libra, the sign of love, beauty and grace. (The Jupiter square to her Sun-Venus would also explain why Dolly's personality and personal style come off as, shall we say, larger than life. In true unpretentious Capricorn fashion, Dolly sums up her drag-queen look with the immortal line "It costs a lot of money to look this cheap.") With her Virgo Moon conjuncting the Ascendant from the 12th house, Dolly has a nurturing earth-mother vibe under all those sequins. Her heart shines through in everything she does, and she has a deep sense of compassion, caring and service to humanity. In case you were wondering, all that is why Dolly is shown here embodying the archetype of the Hindu goddess Shakti, symbol of feminine power, the nurturing Divine Mother, and the infinitely proliferating creative life force. (What, you expected me to Photoshop her face onto the Buddha's body? Please.)

Of course, Dolly has not exactly spent her life meditating and wandering in the desert. With that Sun-Venus conjunction in Capricorn, squaring Jupiter and opposing a powerful Mars-Saturn conjunction in Cancer, plus her Taurus Midheaven, Dolly is intensely driven, ambitious and concerned about financial status and security. The Sun, Venus and Mercury's placement in the 5th house of self-expression gives Dolly a natural love of the spotlight. And that powerhouse Mars-Saturn gives her an indefatigable work ethic and intense, brook-no-opposition determination, although the fact that both planets are retrograde means she has had to find her own way on the path to success. The strong Saturn influence in her chart (Capricorn is ruled by Saturn) hints at the hardships Dolly famously endured in her early life. With Chiron (wounding) in the second house of money and values, squaring Mars and Saturn in the 11th house (which shows how we are perceived by our peers and our community), Dolly definitely felt the sting of poverty and the shame of being a "have-not."

But Chiron is in Libra -- again, the sign of love, beauty and grace -- in a conjunction to optimistic, exuberant Jupiter in the 3rd house of communication. In "Coat of Many Colors," one of Dolly's many signature songs and one that makes me verklempt every single time I hear it, read the lyrics, or even friggin' think about it, Dolly describes how the kids at school (11th house) were cruel to her (Chiron) about the coat her mother sewed her from rags, but she explained to them (3rd house of communication) that the coat was worth more (2nd house), and more beautiful (Libra) because of her mother's love having gone into every stitch:

"But they didn't understand it
And I tried to make them see
That one is only poor
Only if they choose to be
Now I know we had no money
But I was rich as I could be
In my coat of many colors
My momma made for me...." [Source]

(Dammit, now I'm getting choked up!) Ahem -- anyway -- to me this song epitomizes the intermingling of down-home humility and divine grace that infuses Dolly's music and her life. So many celebrities claim to "keep it real" and remain in touch with their roots, but with Dolly's strong Virgo-Capricorn influence, and her Taurus Midheaven in an out-of-sign square to the Ascendant, she is genuinely grounded and never forgets the scarcity and struggle that spurred her to achieve such great heights. While her wigs might get ever more ginormous, her actual head hasn't swelled a bit.

As you can probably guess, I could go on and on about the Tao of Dolly. But I feel that I have frittered away enough of one day paying tribute to Her Dollyness. Let me just close by saying that if everyone adopted "What would Dolly do?" as a mantra, the world would be a much more enlightened place.

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Christina Aguilera's Pluto Transformation

I love when celebrities represent for their zodiac sign! Check out Christina Aguilera's arrow necklace (inset left), which bears an uncanny resemblance to the zodiac symbol for her Sun sign, Sagittarius (right, in yellow), sign of the Archer. Xtina really seems to have come into her own lately and to be happy and centered in her marriage, so I'm happy to see this additional indicator that she is proud of who she is.

With Pluto passing over her Sun, this is a transformative time for Christina, during which she is reinventing her identity to the very core, shedding old aspects of her ego that are no longer vital or constructive for her. See Christina Aguilera's astrological chart (Astrotheme) Never fear, though -- with Venus in Sag's out-of-sign conjunction to Uranus in Scorpio, our Xtina will always be into the wild, way-out-there sexual hijinx.

Her near-exact Moon-Chiron conjunction in Taurus describes Christina's feelings of low self-esteem related to her early family life and lack of nurturing as a child. The Moon's square to Mars in Capricorn hasn't exactly made it easy for her to avoid reenacting her father issues in relationships with men who treat her like crap. But now she really seems to have found a guy who adores her.

According to a few different online sources including Wikipedia, Jordan Bratman was born June 4, 1977, making him a Gemini -- Sagittarius' opposite sign and best match. He has an emotionally generous Sun-Jupiter conjunction, and a reliable, father-figurey Capricorn Moon that jibes well with Christina's Taurus Moon. It looks like he can give her the mix of stability and spontaneity that she needs. These two seem gushingly happy together; I hope they keep going strong. At some less ungodly hour I'll get around to predicting their baby-making potential. I really just meant to post about her necklace.

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Celeb Birthdays: March 21-22

March 21

Deryck Whibley of Sum 41 seems a little old to be Avril Lavigne's BF at 26, but she's a Libra, and they are the best match for Aries. And they are both Canadian. See Deryck Whibley's astrological chart (Astrotheme, no birth time)

In the future, scientists will use DNA records to trace 25% of the human population back to Kevin Federline, though at 28 he has so far fathered only 3-4 children. See Kevin Federline's astrological chart (Astrotheme, no birth time)

Rosie O'Donnell may be a whole lot more butch than Matthew Broderick, but they share a 44th birthday today. See Rosie O'Donnell's astrological chart (Astrotheme, no birth time) | See Matthew Broderick's astrological chart (Astrotheme, no birth time)

Actor Gary Oldman is 48. With his Sun, Moon and Mercury in Aries and Venus and Mars in Aquarius, I really don't know what a Taurus like Uma Thurman was thinking marrying him. See Gary Oldman's astrological chart (Astrotheme, no birth time)

March 22

Reese Witherspoon turns 30 today. Get the astrological update on rumors about her marriage.

Actor Matthew Modine is 47. See Matthew Modine's astrological chart (Astrotheme, no birth time)

CNN's Wolf Blitzer is 58. Having gotten his career breakthrough covering war, he certainly embodies the Mars influence of Aries.

In the course of his 75 years, William Shatner has blurred the lines between human being, cultural icon and self-parody. See William Shatner's astrological chart (Astrotheme)

The utterly self-parodic, not to mention cuckoo for cocoa puffs, Pat Robertson is 76. See Pat Robertson's astrological chart (Astrotheme, no birth time)

Composer-lyricist Stephen Sondheim is also 76. See Stephen Sondheim's astrological chart (Astrotheme)

Birth dates from IMDB.com. Please email me any corrections, additions or -- especially appreciated! -- exact birth times.

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Celeb Birthdays: March 20

Happy Spring Equinox! Today is the first day of Aries, the astrological new year, the zodiac's zero point. Meet the celebrities born on the very cusp of Pisces/Aries. (Note: Take the charts without birth times with a grain of salt, or even a whole shaker. Since these charts are drawn for noon as a default, they may actually reflect the wrong Sun sign if someone was born later in the day, after the Sun entered Aries.)

What better way to kick off the season than with my favorite kind of celebrity birthday -- that of a third-string Buffy character? Bianca Lawson, a.k.a. Kendra the Vampire Slayer (worst. accent. ever...) turns 27 today.

Walking the tightrope between Hey!It's That Guy!ness and full-fledged B-list status for 36 years now is Michael Rapaport. See Michael Rapaport's astrological chart (Astrotheme, no birth time)

Actress Holly Hunter turns 48. See Holly Hunter's astrological chart (Astrotheme, no birth time)

His birth time is unknown, but I'm guessing director Spike Lee, 49 today, is a blunt, outspoken Aries. See Spike Lee's astrological chart (Astrotheme, no birth time)

Conversely, I would guess that sensitive actor William Hurt, 56, today, is a Pisces. See William Hurt's astrological chart (Astrotheme, no birth time)

Although I am utterly uninterested in hockey, or any form of skating that takes place without sequins and choreography, I feel obligated to note that today is Bobby Orr's 58th birthday.

Namaste to Fred "Mr." Rogers, who would have been 78 today. He was a dreamy, imaginative Pisces with a soothing Taurus-rising manner. See Fred Rogers' astrological chart (Astrotheme)

Director Carl Reiner is 84. See Carl Reiner's astrological chart (Astrotheme, no birth time)

Birth dates from IMDB.com. Please email me any corrections, additions or -- especially appreciated! -- exact birth times.

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Reese and Ryan on the Rocks?

This is the part of the job I hate, folks. There's some gossip that it is my duty to investigate even as I pray it's not true. I mean, if Reese Witherspoon and Ryan Philippe can't make it work with their blinding collective hotness, successful careers, and endorphin-producingly cute mini-me kids, what hope is there for the rest of us?

But when a publication with the stringent journalistic standards of Life & Style is alleging that their marriage is in trouble, you kinda have to wonder. Plus, in her Oscar acceptance speech, Reese said "thank you to my wonderful husband and my two children ... for loving me so much and supporting me." [Source] Um, so basically she was saying "thanks for appreciating how great I am," which is a step up from full-on Chad Lowe amnesia but not necessarily the nicest compliment you could give your spouse.

An assertive Aries like Reese and a reserved Virgo like Ryan are a bit of an awkward fit -- you see the dynamic in the way he always seems to be walking two paces behind her. [See Reese Witherspoon's astrological chart (Astrotheme, no birth time) | See Ryan Philippe's astrological chart (Astrotheme, no birth time)] Still, I cling to hope that there may be life in the marriage yet, since other recent tabloid reports have the Philispoons trying for baby number three. What is really happening for this couple?

Astrologically, Reese and Ryan have some connections as well as some uphill battles. It's annoying that I don't have birth times for either of them, since I can't even tell what signs either of their Moons are in, but as I stated in my Best Actress predictions, I suspect that Reese has a Capricorn Moon because she is so relentlessly driven and ambitious (her production company is called Type A Productions, hello). I could see quiet Ryan having a Cancer Moon that would be opposite Reese's Capricorn Moon, creating a strong bond of emotional give-and-take between them. And their Venuses oppose each other, with his Jupiter in Pisces conjuncting her Venus -- nice aspects for romantic love. Her Mars in Cancer sextiling his Venus in Virgo brings romantic sparks, and also describes both of their obvious commitment to taking care of family and household -- they appear to be devoted hands-on parents who actually schlep their kids around every day, which is very remarkable to see in Hollywood.

But in some ways, they're kind of like oil and water. There are a couple of inconjunct aspects -- her Sun to his Venus, his Mars to her Jupiter -- that show it can be a struggle for them to see eye to eye. Ryan's Mars in late Virgo forms an out-of-sign T-square with Reese's temperamental Sun-Mars square, so this couple is prone to angry arguments. They have spoken of getting couples counseling, so at least they are aware of and engaging with their issues.

There have been some trouble spots for the marriage lately as Uranus in Pisces recently passed over Reese's Venus and is now headed toward Ryan's Jupiter. In both of them, this could bring urges to make a sudden break, disrupting existing relationships that suddenly feel stifling. Reese is also experiencing a groundshift in her life as Pluto inconjuncts her Saturn, depicting a process of adjustment to her newfound post-Oscar power and creative control.

But for the time being, I don't see these aspects being strong enough to break them up. As far as I can tell without their birth times, Uranus is not a very strong influence in either of their charts. Reese's Pluto-Saturn transit may just make her all the more determined to make her marriage a success. And with Jupiter retrograding back to form a grand trine with Ryan's Jupiter and Saturn, he is likely to find a creative way to express the pressures he's feeling. if Reese and Ryan are to break up, I think it will not be until mid-December 2007, when the Jupiter-Pluto conjunction in late Sagittarius will square Ryan's Mars -- or early April 2008, when Pluto will enter Capricorn and form a T-square with Reese's Sun and Mars. This time period will be one of great transformation for Reese. Whether she and Ryan can make the leap together remains to be seen.

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Celeb Birthdays: March 18-19

March 18

Jessica Simpson dumper Adam Levine of Maroon 5 is 27. With that Scorpio Moon and Uranus, no wonder he's such a heartbreaker. See Adam Levine's astrological chart (Astrotheme, no birth time)

Jessica Simpson costar and comic Dane Cook is 34.

The multitalented Queen Latifah has a Leo Moon, hence her regal air. See Queen Latifah's astrological chart (Astrotheme, no birth time)

Alice in Chains guitarist Jerry Cantrell is 40.

Porn impresario and reality star Seymore Butts is 42.

Gorgeous Vanessa Williams's accidental porn star days are long behind her at 43.

"Fame" singer Irene Cara is 47. See Irene Cara's astrological chart (Astrotheme)

French director Luc Besson is 47. See Luc Besson's astrological chart (Astrotheme)

Author John Updike is 74. See John Updike's astrological chart (Astrotheme)

March 19

Writer-director Neil LaBute is 43.

Macho man Bruce Willis is 51. See Bruce Willis' astrological chart (Astrotheme)

Miramax mogul Harvey Weinstein is 54.

Glenn Close is 59. See Glenn Close's astrological chart (Astrotheme)

Jazzman Ornette Coleman is 76. See Ornette Coleman's astrological chart (Astrotheme, no birth time)

Birth dates from IMDB.com. Please email me any corrections, additions or -- especially appreciated! -- exact birth times.

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