Saturday, April 08, 2006

Eminem and Kim's Love-Hate Karma

By now you have surely heard the sad news that less than three months after their touching remarriage, one Marshall Bruce Mathers III and Kimberly Anne Mathers have once again come to the sudden realization that they are a train wreck. Yes, Eminem and Kim, the husband and wife who make Springer guests feel better about their relationships, are over once more, with Em filing for divorce on Wednesday, March 5. [Source] (BTW, this image is from their first wedding in 1999; the pix from the second one were way too freaky-deaky, as whatever work she has had done not only makes Kim look scarily plastic and utterly unlike herself, but somehow enhances the way she dwarfs Marshall.)

Now, I know Libras like Eminem are indecisive, but this is getting ridiculous. We're all familiar with the concept of the breakup that doesn't quite stick the first time (I'm certainly relieved that Nicole Richie reunited with erstwhile doughboy DJ AM, since he seems to have run her off the road of ruin she'd been careening down), but seriously, these two have been at it for 17 years now. What is up with all these ups and downs?

It's not just the conventional wisdom that two cardinal signs like Libra (Em) and Capricorn (Kim) are at odds with each other. After all, they've already defied the stereotype that Libras are diplomatic peacemakers and Capricorns are ambitious and responsible. There is obviously a lot more going on to lock these two in their love-hate dance. Hence I have undertaken the task of figuring out exactly what kind of crayzay karmic connections Eminem and Kim share.

Well, we can start with the fact that their Suns in Libra and Capricorn are square, which generally indicates that two people may stimulate each other, but there is tension between them. (See Eminem's astrological chart - Astrotheme, no birth time; see Kim Mathers' astrological chart, no birth time) The square aspect can be a motivating one, in which two people push each other to achieve and improve, or it can portend constant struggles. Um, or both.

Interestingly, Kim's Sun is on Eminem's North Node, a point in the chart showing what we karmically aspire to achieve in this lifetime, and he may feel that working through his ups and downs with her is a kind of cosmic challenge or test. With the North Node in Capricorn, his karmic aspiration is to be a successful provider, reversing the deadbeat-dad karma of his own absent father. Maintaining stability in his family with Kim represents his ability to be committed and responsible in a way his dad wasn't. So the connection with the North Node has given Eminem an ability to approach his struggles with Kim constructively, as a life lesson and a chance to prove himself. Kim's Venus closely opposing Eminem's Jupiter in Pisces is another indication that he views his relationship with her as a challenge to spur his spiritual growth.

The fact that the couple's daughter, Hailie Jade, is a Capricorn like her mom, with her Mars and Mercury on Em's North Node, further reinforces the deep commitment Eminem feels to his family. (see Hailie Jade Mathers' astrological chart, no birth time) Again, he doesn't want to let his daughter down like his dad let him down. I have searched the Interwebs in vain for a quote I recalled from Em around the time of the remarriage saying that one reason they were doing it was to show the kids (i.e., Hailie and Kim's daughter by another baby daddy) their commitment as a family. Please email me if you can find this quote. But the couple did take their second walk down the aisle to Eminem's song "Mockingbird," which is all about him trying to provide stability and constancy for the kids amidst the dysfunction and chaos of his and Kim's lives:

I know it's confusing you
Daddy's always on the move
Mama's always on the news
I try to keep you sheltered from it
But somehow it seems, the harder that I try to do that
the more it backfires on me
All the things, growing up
As daddy that he had to see
Daddy don't want you to see.... [Source]

Whatever else you may say about Eminem, he definitely seems like a devoted dad above all else. So how come all his efforts to provide a stable home life seem to "backfire"? Unfortunately, not all the challenging connections in their natal charts have the constructive potential of the Sun–North Node and Venus-Jupiter links. Kim's Mars in Sagittarius is opposite Eminem's Saturn in Gemini, which shows both the enduring nature of their relationship -- Saturn connections between people are usually binding -- and the unpredictable, off-and-on dynamic: Gemini and Sagittarius are both dual signs, known for flip-flopping, changing and running from commitment. With his Saturn (authority, restriction, structure) on Kim's Mars (a person's M.O.), Eminem may have tried to set limits on her chaotic behavior. But with Saturn trining his Uranus, to paraphrase the "Mockingbird" lyrics, Eminem's efforts to create structure and function as a stable authority figure have a tendency to blow up in his face. He just can't maintain control over his temper or his impulses long enough to be the Ozzie Nelson–type dad he deep down wants to be.

In a few instances, Kim has planets that aggravate volatile tendencies in his chart. For example, he has Mars and Pluto in a wide (i.e., relatively weak in influence) conjunction, giving him a tendency toward outbursts of temper. But Kim, who is a few years younger than Eminem, has her Pluto almost right on Eminem's Mars, suggesting that her influence exacerbates his existing predisposition toward rage.

Likewise, Eminem has Chiron loosely opposite Uranus, another volatile aspect that could prompt him to act out when he feels vulnerable or defensive. Kim's Chiron is almost exactly opposite Eminem's Uranus; she likely knows exactly how to find his sore spots and work them until he blows up.

And Eminem's Uranus in Libra is also conjunct his Sun, an aspect that defines his rebellious, unpredictable, crazy-as-I-wanna-be persona. In an interesting configuration, Kim's Uranus in Scorpio conjuncts Em's Sun from the other side, creating, for lack of a better term, a sort of Uranus sandwich around his Sun. This dual Uranian influence puts severe pressure on him, and incites him to act out even more explosively.

In their composite chart, describing the nature of the partnership itself, Eminem and Kim have the Sun conjunct Neptune, suggesting that there is a lack of clarity about the relationship, possibly due to a drug-induced haziness or perhaps simply because they don't know who they are. Saturn conjuncts the South Node, so there is a strong tendency to fall back into the same karmic patterns rather than learning from experience and breaking the cycle.

At the time of the remarriage on January 14, 2006, retrograde Saturn was trining the Sun-Neptune conjunction in Em & Kim's composite and opposing their composit Jupiter, perhaps making it easy for them to delude themselves (Neptune) that the partnership (composite Sun) would last (Saturn) and grow (Jupiter). And the transiting Sun and Venus had just passed over Kim's Sun and Eminem's North Node, and were conjuncting Hailie Jade's Neptune, no doubt fulfilling her fantasy of a committed family. But these aspects were fleeting. The divorce announcement came just days after Saturn turned direct, perhaps bringing a reality check to their fantasy of a lasting commitment.

Will Marshall and Kimberly continue to engage and disengage from each other (literally)? Well, I sure wish I knew their birth times so I could zero in even closer on the precise character of their dynamic. But that Mars-Saturn opposition in their natal charts, and the Saturn–South Node conjunction in the composite, suggests there might be some karma working itself out. And maybe, with his Sun-Uranus conjunction and Saturn-Uranus trine, Eminem thrives on volatility as much as he craves stability. After all, he has made a career out of writing songs about murdering her. And she seems to have no problem with the royalties from those songs providing for her and her daughter, so who knows. They may be meeting up at Dysfunction Junction for many years to come.

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Celeb Birthdays: April 8

Okay, okay, so it's been a bit of a nutty week and I've missed a couple of days of festive birthday fun. I apologize for any trauma I may have caused. With no further looking back, on to today's celebrating celebrities!

Yay, there is no birthday more exciting than a Buffy birthday! Happy 33rd to Anya, a.k.a. Anyanka, and let us not forget Brandon Walsh's Girlfriend Who Had an Abortion, a.k.a. the gorgeous and hilarious Emma Caulfield. See Emma Caulfield's astrological chart (Astrotheme, no birth time)

Patricia Arquette, who kicked such ass in True Romance, turns 38. She's got a very powerful, dynamic chart with Sun and Saturn in Aries conjunct the Midheaven, a Leo Ascendant and Moon-Jupiter in the first house. See Patricia Arquette's astrological chart (Astrotheme)

Aries Robin Wright Penn, still beautiful at 40, is a pretty good match for a Leo like Sean Penn -- although there's nothing quite as passionate as a Leo-Leo relationship like Sean and Madonna had. Sigh.... See Robin Wright Penn's astrological chart (Astrotheme, no birth time)

Oh, baby, you have got what 42-year-old Biz Markie needs.

How is Julian Lennon already 43?? See Julian Lennon's astrological chart (Astrotheme)

Guns n' Roses' Izzy Stradlin turns 44.

O.G. Bo Duke John Schneider turns 52. See John Schneider's astrological chart (Astrotheme, no birth time)

It just warms my heart that Tom DeLay will be spending his 59th at home, with his family, where he belongs. With Jupiter conjunct his Scorpio Ascendant, no wonder he's so good at manipulating people. See Tom DeLay's astrological chart (Astrotheme)

Punk fashion muse Vivienne Westwood is still cutting-edge at 65. See Vivienne Westwood's astrological chart (Astrotheme)

Über-U.N.er Kofi Annan hits 68 today. With all those planets in Aries and Taurus, I don't see how he manages to be diplomatic ever, much less for a living. See Kofi Annan's astrological chart (Astrotheme, no birth time)

The patron saint of pill-poppers and lushes everywhere, Betty Ford, is 88. With the Virgo Ascendant being opposed by her Moon in Pisces, and Mars conjuncting it from the 12th house, it's no great shock that she would have had addiction issues, maybe related to managing anxiety.ß See Betty Ford's astrological chart (Astrotheme)

Birth dates from IMDB.com. Please email me any corrections, additions or -- especially appreciated! -- exact birth times.

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Wednesday, April 05, 2006

Celeb Birthdays: April 5

Pharrell Williams turns 33 today. In case you were wondering, his Neptune is in Sagittarius, sextile his Mars-Jupiter conjunction in Aquarius. loosely trining his Sun-Venus-Chiron conjunction in Aries. He has definite dreamy sex appeal and comes off with a ton of confidence, but there's something vulnerable at his core.... See Pharrell Williams' astrological chart (Astrotheme, no birth time)

Pearl Jam's Mike McCready hits 40 today. See Mike McCready's astrological chart (Astrotheme, no birth time)

Don't bother planning a surprise party for ABBA's Agnetha F¨a;ltskog's 55th, for she'll know there's something going on. See Agnetha F¨a;ltskog's astrological chart (Astrotheme, no birth time)

Colin Powell turns 69 today. See Colin Powell's astrological chart (Astrotheme, no birth time)

Birth dates from IMDB.com. Please email me any corrections, additions or -- especially appreciated! -- exact birth times.

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Tuesday, April 04, 2006

Celeb Birthdays: April 4

Heath

Resalutations, dear readers! Thank God, Jupiter, Ganesha, et al., Katie Holmes did not unleash little L. Ronette on the world while I was bereft of Internet access. I shall now resume regularly scheduled updates. Also, henceforth please check out my new daily horoscope column at formemagazine.com!

The most mature and sophisticated member of her family by a country mile, Miss Jamie Lynn Spears, celebrates her 15th birthday today. See Jamie Lynn Spears's astrological chart (Astrotheme, no birth time)

Oscar nominee, new dad and all-around sickeningly-perfect-life-having Heath Ledger turns 27 today. Check out our astrological analysis of his Best Actor nod (including a link to his birth chart).

Natasha Lyonne is 27 and by all appearances well on her way to being a full-on train wreck. Which is really too bad, because she was a cool actress back in the day. That Mars-Mercury conjunction in Pisces trining Uranus in water signs might cause some erratic behavior driven by addiction. See Natasha Lyonne's astrological chart (Astrotheme, no birth time)

No, of course David Blaine does not qualify as a legitimate celebrity, but I decided to note his 33rd birthday in order that you might behold his Sun-Venus conjunction in Aries trining Neptune and observe how in love with himself he is. See David Blaine's astrological chart (Astrotheme, no birth time)

Fabulous Philly R&B diva Jill Scott is 34.

The Facts of Life's butchie Jo, Nancy McKeon, turns 40. See Nancy McKeon's astrological chart (Astrotheme, no birth time)

At 41, perhaps a mellowed Robert Downey Jr. has some sage words for young Natasha Lyonne. That Mars-Uranus conjunction in Virgo inconjuncting his Sun-Venus cannot have been easy to work through. See Robert Downey Jr.'s astrological chart (Astrotheme, no birth time)

Words fail to express how hilarious David Cross is, and how it saddens me that Arrested Development is no more. But let us not think of it -- happy 42nd birthday! See David Cross's astrological chart (Astrotheme, no birth time)

Endearingly cheeky British comic Graham Norton is 43.

Upon reflection, I've really never been into any of the shows in 50-yar-old David E. Kelley's oeuvre. See David E. Kelley's astrological chart (Astrotheme, no birth time)

Actress Christine Lahti has been in a million things at 56... just don't ask me to name them. See Christine Lahti's astrological chart (Astrotheme, no birth time)

There is certainly something iconic about Craig T. Nelson, who turns 62 today... just don't ask me to pinpoint it.

Birth dates from IMDB.com. Please email me any corrections, additions or -- especially appreciated! -- exact birth times.

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