Saturday, March 18, 2006

Wedding Rumors for Jen and Vince

Say whaaaat? Perez Hilton, to whom I am indebted as a source for so many items lately, is now reporting that Jennifer Aniston and Vince Vaughn, not to be outdone by Brangelina, are secretly planning to wed:

We've just had two people - independent of each other - tell us that Jennifer Aniston is planning a surprise wedding to Vince Vaughn THIS SUNDAY at the Montecito, CA, home of Oprah Winfrey. [Source]

This is kind of a delicious prospect -- I especially love the Oprah touch, since she's, like, the only person in America, or at least Hollywood, more well respected than George Clooney, who is purportedly lending his blessing to the Brangelina nuptials. And I've always thought Jen and Vince were kinda hot together, even though part of me wonders if their relationship is a look-I've-moved-on-too sham for the cameras. In my birthday forecast for Jennifer Aniston this past February, I predicted that she and Vince were not in it for the long haul but were just having fun. But now that I have obtained Vince's birth time from the fantastique French astrology site Astrotheme, I see that Jen and he are more simpatico than I thought! Their Libra Ascendants are conjunct, and so are their Sagittarius Moons, a sign that they are in synch emotionally and in terms of personality. [See Jennifer Aniston's birth chart (Astrotheme) | See Vince Vaughn's birth chart (Astrotheme)] Awww! Could this be true love after all -- or just the ultimate screw-you to Brad?

Well, Jen's progressed chart at this time does show a bit of a screw-you mentality... There is a strong Aries influence there, as her progressed Sun has just moved into Aries, the first sign of the zodiac -- and Vince's natal Sun sign. Mars-ruled Aries are impulsive, assertive and action-oriented, and while Jen will always be a detached Aquarius at her core, the Aries influence is seen in how she has loosened up and let her hair down since getting together with Vince. The Aries influence in Jen's progressed chart is underscored by natal Mars approaching a conjunction with the progressed Ascendant.

But the Aries impulsiveness doesn't tell the whole story -- there is also a real chip on Jen's shoulder, as seen by the progressed Sun's conjunction to natal and progressed Chiron. Scorpio rising in the progressed chart shows a bit of a vengeful or defensive outlook on life, and especially with Mars conjuncting the Ascendant from the lurking-under-the-surface 12th house, Jen has a real potential to lash out against those who hurt her or even to strike preemptively if she feels threatened.

This Sunday, March 19, the Sun in the final degree of Pisces -- the last gasp of winter before the spring equinox -- will be approaching a conjunction to Jen's progressed Sun and her natal Chiron. That afternoon and evening, the Moon in Scorpio will pass over Jen's Mars and through her progressed 1st house. The Sun in both Jen and Vince's 5th house of romance is nice, and maybe it would be fitting for them to marry with the Sun in Pisces since the Sun in their composite chart, which describes the relationship, is in Pisces. But I can't shake the feeling that a wedding taking place on Sunday would be one that happened for the wrong reasons. The emphasis on Scorpio and the impulsive Aries urge to be first suggests a revenge-driven race to the altar rather than a true romantic connection. Maybe it will happen for Jen and Vince someday, but this doesn't strike me as the right time for them to wed.

Labels: , ,

> > > Read the complete post...

Friday, March 17, 2006

Celeb Birthdays: March 17

Unlike their Sweet Valley High alter egos, twins Brittany and "Whatever Happened to the Other One," I mean, Cynthia Daniel, are subject to the passage of time. The erstwhile Jessica and Elizabeth Wakefield hit the big 3-0 today.

Hole's Melissa Auf Der Maur, 34, shares a birthday with her sometime Smashing Pumpkins confrere, Billy Corgan, who still seems to be wrestling with adolescent angst (and a "Pisces Iscariot" martyr complex) at 39.

Soccer siren and Bride of Noamahhh Mia Hamm is 34.

Fashion designer Alexander McQueen turns 37 today.

A perennial dreamboat at 42, Rob Lowe definitely knows how to work those Pisces bedroom eyes.

Namaste to old soul Dana Reeve, who would have been 45 today. I'd like to think the universe had a good reason for giving her an early graduation from her last incarnation, like, maybe she got cosmic extra credit for working through so much karma in one lifetime. Hopefully she's already been reborn as a boddhisatva.

Because I have much love for the Hey! It's That Guy!s of the world, I would like to acknowledge the 46th birthday of TV staple Arye Gross.

A H!ITG! emeritus himself, Gary Sinise, is 51.

'80s stud muffins Kurt Russell, 54, and Patrick Duffy, 57, will be enjoying birthday cake with their green beer today.

Sci-fi author William Gibson is 58.

Birth dates from IMDB.com. Please email me any corrections, additions or -- especially appreciated! -- exact birth times.

> > > Read the complete post...

Thursday, March 16, 2006

Demi and Ashton: Baby Rumors!

Perez Hilton is reporting that Star is reporting (don'tcha love the gossip hall of mirrors?) that Demi Moore was spied shopping at a baby store and making such remarks as "I like this for the baby" and "I wonder if Ashton would like this." What the report, at least as so far reported, does not mention is whether Demi was sporting a baby bump. And yet she allegedly did not want to wait 8-12 weeks for furniture to be delivered, which begs the question of when she might be delivering.

Now, I admit to being all sorts of confused about the normal progress rate of pregnant women's bellies thanks to the public yo-yo gestation process of one Katie Holmes, but surely some enterprising paparazzo would have spotted developments in Demi's abdominal region if she had a baby set to arrive in a mere two months. Of course, the other alternatives would be that Mr. and Mrs. Kutcher are adopting or making use of a surrogate. Let's see what Demi's chart has to say.... See Demi Moore's astrological chart (Astrotheme)

From a look at her progressed chart (a chart that depicts how the individual has grown and evolved), Demi is in a great place in her life, especially in terms of relationships. Direct-by-progression Venus is conjuncting her Sun and approching the return to its natal position. After a volatile early life in which her parents provided a train wreck of a relationship model (Source: IMDB), Demi has worked through a lot of relationship issues and reached a point where her partnership really strengthens and validates who she is. Venus' importance is further highlighted by the fact that it is the ruler of the progressed chart, with Taurus on the progressed Ascendant. And Demi's progressed Moon is in the 7th house of partnership, another sign that love and relationships are focal in her life right now. (Incidentally, the progressed chart is calculated by advancing the natal chart a day for every year of the person's life, and Demi's chart has now progressed to Christmas Day, which seems like fitting symbolism for the many blessings in her life right now.)

So, could all this love and affection be directed toward a new baby, as well as her partner? Uranus and Pluto have moved to the 5th house, which rules motherhood, in Demi's progressed chart, but this has been the case since before she first became a mom way back in '88, it doesn't tell us much about the prospect of a present pregnancy. Venus rules the 1st and 7th houses of the progressed chart, so this seems to be saying more about Demi's marriage than hitning at a new addition to the family. It seems like Demi and Ashton really might be soul mates like they've been saying all along, though. Who'd'a thunk it? See Ashton Kutcher's astrological chart (Astrotheme, no birth time)

Turning to the transits to Demi's natal chart, we find that retrograde Saturn is currently transiting the 5th house -- which, again, rules motherhood and is an important point in the chart where we would seek out pregnancy indicators. But Saturn, the planet of restriction, repression and hard lessons, is not exactly the bearer of joyous tidings when it comes to childbirth. Furthermore, Saturn is opposing its own natal position in the 11th house, indicating a time of reckoning or testing, a theme that is reinforced by transiting Uranus in Pisces opposing natal Pluto. And with Saturn approaching a conjunction to the karmic North Node, there could be a deep spiritual lesson coming up for Demi, requiring her to go beyond what comes easily for her and make a leap of faith. Chiron has been opposing Saturn -- and just crossed Demi's Saturn -- suggesting thaht this lesson could be a painful one. I hope very much that this does not signify the dashing of their pregnancy hopes, but perhaps a reevaluation and reestablishment of those hopes. Saturn in the 5th could indicate difficulty conceiving, but the contact with the North Node suggests that if Demi meets this obstacle with an enlightened attitude, it could lead her to a higher purpose. With transiting Pluto having just crossed her natal Midheaven, Demi has been transforming her life goals and aspirations. Success means something different to her now than when she was young and hungry. With Jupiter retrograding over her Sun-Venus, she is in the midst of a period of growth and expansion that will enrich who she is and her relationships.

To me, what this suggests is that there may not necessarily be a pregnancy, but that the Moore-Kutcher household could receive the gift of a family addition through unconventional means -- the emphasis on Uranus, Aquarius and the 11th house of community reminds me of the "it takes a village" approach to child-raising. Aquarius also rules progress and new technology, so a technique like the use of a surrogate could be in the works. Or, given that Demi's progressed Moon is in multi-culti Sagittarius and passing through her natal 9th house of long-distance travel, she could pull an Angelina and jet across the world in search of an infant to become the adoptive Kabbalina Kutcher. Either way, Saturn's placement suggests the challenge of getting past an attachment to conventional biological parenting and embracing the idea of motherhood in a more cosmic, progressive way.

Labels:

> > > Read the complete post...

Celeb Birthdays: March 16

Heartbreaker, dream taker, hype maker, clock wearer Flavor Flav is enjoying a career renaissance -- er, of sorts -- at 47.

Nancy Wilson of Heart, a.k.a. The One Who's Married to Cameron Crowe and Didn't Get Really Fat, is 52 today. See Nancy Wilson's astrological chart (Astrotheme)

French icons Isabelle Huppert, 53, and Jerry Lewis, 80, celebrate birthdays today. But of course, Astrotheme has their complete charts, avec birth times. See Isabelle Huppert's astrological chart (Astrotheme) | See Jerry Lewis' astrological chart (Astrotheme)

Wilmer Valderrama will be hard pressed to hold a candle to the O.G. CHiPs man, Erik Estrada, who at 57 might still be able to make a form-fitting beige polyester uniform look sexy. I said "might."

Game show maestro Chuck Woolery has heard 65 years' worth of racy double entendres.

Italian director Bernardo Bertolucci is 66. He was born at sunset, as you can tell from the fact that his Sun is directly opposite the Ascendant (which represents the horizon at the moment of birth). See Bernardo Bertolucci's astrological chart (Astrotheme)

Birth dates from IMDB.com. Please email me any corrections, additions or -- especially appreciated! -- exact birth times.

> > > Read the complete post...

Wednesday, March 15, 2006

Celeb Birthdays: March 15

I know celebrity kids usually hate being referred to in the context of their parents, but Susan Sarandon is so kickass, I feel like Eva Amurri must not mind being constantly tagged as her daughter. Plus, she's only 21 and has tons of time to establish her own name. If by some grave oversight you have not seen Saved!, please do so immediately. See Eva Amurri's astrological chart (Astrotheme, no birth time)

G-Unit's Young Buck, who clearly consulted the Hardcore Rapper Magnetic Poetry Kit to come up with his moniker, turns 25 today. See Young Buck's astrological chart (Astrotheme, no birth time)

As much as I hate to give more attention to the already overrated, overpublicized Black Eyed Peas, it must be duly noted that Will i Am is 31 today.

And speaking of overrated and overpublicized, Eva Longoria also turns 31 today. Let us never speak of her again. (Well, unless she ODs on speedballs or something. Then I'd probably run her chart for schadenfreude and giggles.) See Eva Longoria's astrological chart (Astrotheme, no birth time)

Three bastions of dreaminess are getting on in years: Mark McGrath is 38, Terence Trent D'Arby is 44, and Fabio is 47.

Pisces is ruled by Neptune, which rules confusion and delusion. Cuckoo-for-cocoa-puffs Grammy perfomer Sly Stone might well wander out of his 63rd birthday party in a daze tonight.

Creepy-deepy director David Cronenberg also turns 63 today. I don't dare speculate on what he might do at his party. See David Cronenberg's astrological chart (Astrotheme, no birth time)

I think we can all agree the Grateful Dead explored some very Piscean themes, what with all the trippiness and the free-form jamming. Phil Lesh is 66 today.

I am hard pressed to think of something interesting to say about Judd Hirsch turning 71. If you've got love for Judd, please feel free to post a comment. See Judd Hirsch's astrological chart (Astrotheme)

Brooklyn-born Supreme Court babe Ruth Bader Ginsburg is 73, and let's hope she stays in excellent health for many years to come! Pop some echinacea for me, 'k, Ruthie? See Ruth Bader Ginsburg's astrological chart (Astrotheme, no birth time)

Birth dates from IMDB.com. Please email me any corrections, additions or -- especially appreciated! -- exact birth times.

> > > Read the complete post...

Tuesday, March 14, 2006

Celeb Birthdays: March 14

Lots of charts with BIRTH TIMES today, yay!

You know I have to shamelessly, gratuitously give mad props to even the minor Buffy cast members. Mercedes McNab, who was a genius at playing evil ditz Harmony, is 26. I always thought it was so clever how Spike called her "Harm" once she turned vamp. It reminds me of the guy I met at the deli who said, "My name is Sincere, but you can call me Sin."

Come on, Chris Klein. I know Pisces men are not the most assertive fishes in the sea, but surely you can't just stand by and watch your onetime fiancée drown in a sea of shame and lies! Use the energy from your solar return to kidnap Katie and deprogram her! Uh- oh, there come those knocks at the door again. This time I'm not answering.... See Chris Klein's astrological chart (Astrotheme, no birth time)

Prince Albert of Monaco is 48. See Prince Albert's astrological chart (Astrotheme)

The insufferably annoying Billy Crystal would be turning 59 if he were not dead to me for playa-hating on Jon Stewart's Oscar hosting gig. See Billy Crystal's astrological chart (Astrotheme)

Actor Michael Caine and producer Quincy Jones both seem very full of themselves, and both turn 73 today. See Michael Caine's astrological chart (Astrotheme) | See Quincy Jones' astrological chart (Astrotheme)

Albert Einstein's famous quote "Imagination is more important than knowledge" is emblematic of the Pisces archetype. He would have lived to be 127 today if only he had learned to apply his famed theory of relativity by refracting light to slow down the aging process. Instead, it took Barbara Walters to perfect this technique, along with the use of soft- focus lenses. Um, but I digress. See Albert Einstein's astrological chart (Astrotheme) Note how Mercury, ruling thought and communication, conjuncts his Part of Fortune, a lucky point in the chart, and Saturn, ruling work and discipline.

Birth dates from IMDB.com. Please email me any corrections, additions or -- especially appreciated! -- exact birth times.

> > > Read the complete post...

Monday, March 13, 2006

Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban: Heading for a Wedding or a Breakup?

The tabloids are determined to believe that Keith Urban is the man with whom Nicole Kidman will finally live happily ever after. For a minute there everybody was even all "Ooh, Nicole Kidman is missing! She and Keith are getting married!" Sorry to burst everyone's bubble, but I maintain my conviction that they don't share a lasting bond and that in fact Nicole may not be the marrying kind. And now, since the latest photos of them have surfaced, I have a feeling that they're at a poop-or-get-off-the-pot point in their relationship and that Nicole may... eww, I was about to extend that metaphor, but let's not and just say that Nicole is more likely to end the relationship than make it official.

I mean, just look at these pictures on PerezHilton.com. See, this is what I'm saying. Do they not look bored and sick of each other? But hey, I'm no body language expert, so instead I'll point out that Uranus in Pisces is approaching a square to Nicole's Sagittarius Moon, which means she may be headed for some emotional upheaval -- we're talking a very dramatic change of heart. And Saturn is retrograding over her elevated Jupiter, the ruler of her Sag Moon, stirring up feelings of restlessness and impatience as well as frustration toward areas of her life she was excited and optimistic about. See Nicole Kidman's astrological chart (Astrotheme)

In her birth chart, Nicole has Chiron in the final degree of Pisces squaring her Gemini Sun, suggesting a deep-seated emotional vulnerability, and this is about to be activated when the Sun passes over it early next week. This is a minor flare-up, but it may trigger a period of self-doubt and uncertainty. As March goes on and Mercury retrogrades through Pisces, finally coming to station in a square to Nicole's Moon, she may be rethinking her feelings and beset by insecurities about the relationship. Meanwhile, transiting Saturn is squaring Keith's Sun, so he feels frustrated and ineffective. He would really face an uphill battle to rise to the occasion and prove his passion for her. See Keith Urban's astrological chart (Astrotheme, no birth time)

Uranus' square to Nicole's Moon becomes exact at the end of April. And with stationary Saturn still putting pressure on her Jupiter around this time, the urge to escape could become overpowering. Will Nic pull a Runaway Bride and flee her commitment to Keith? Or will she make like Renee Zellwegger and actually marry him, only to nullify the nuptials four months later -- in August, when Uranus retrogrades over the square to her Moon? Either way, expect to see some major changes in Nicole's emotional life in the coming months.

UPDATE: More rumblings of Uranian turmoil, plus a possible pregnancy for Nic... note that the Moon also rules motherhood... hmmm... (Original source: Laineygossip.com; I found it on Oh No They Didn't)

Labels: , ,

> > > Read the complete post...

Celeb Birthdays: March 13

OMG, I just thought of something SO FREAKY. Isn't Katie Holmes supposedly "due" to "give birth" to her "biological child" any moment? Wouldn't it be mondo bizarro if Katie went into "labor" today? Especially if she were to be artificially induced? That would be an awfully strange coincidence -- read on to find out why....

Is it because he shares his b-day with L.Ro himself that Danny Masterson, 30 today, became a Scientologist? Is it?! Because seriously, I can't reconcile him being Hyde on That '70s Show with him being a Friend of Xenu. Also, could someone please explain how hanging out with Wilmer Valderrama and a bunch of coke whores in every VIP room in L.A. will help cleanse your thetans? Seriously, those clubs seem like dens of thetanity to me.

Common has been bringing the Piscean gift for poetic, soulful creativity to the hip-hop world for 34 years. Didn't he used to date fellow Pisces Erykah Badu? What happened with that? They would be friggin' perfect for each other!

Bassist Adam Clayton celebrates his 46th. I would remark upon his career accomplishments, but I think the members of U2 have received enough kudos for several lifetimes, thank you very much.

It's hard to articulate in words the awesomeness and endearingness of William H. Macy, who will doubtless spend his 56th with the awesome and endearing Felicity Huffman by his side.

Ohhh yeah baby, it's on. The goddess, the legend, the vision in sequins, the original coochie-coochie mama ... my inspiration, my role model, the wind beneath my wings ... the spangled and splendiferous Charo is an ageless wonder at 65. And can we just talk about how savvy and hilarious she was on The Surreal Life? Somebody needs to remake The Love Boat so my beloved Charo has a fitting vehicle to resume her rightful place in show business. To sum up, I LOVE CHARO! HAPPY BIRTHDAY, CHIQUITA!

Whew. Okay. Neil Sedaka is 67. Sorry, I just can't muster up that same level of enthusiasm. I mean, the man wrote a love song about knocking someone up. What was up with that? Creepy, yo.

And speaking of creepy... we've come full circle with the Scientologists today. As noted above, L. Ron Hubbard would have been 95 today, but will have to settle for being reborn via the test-tube-incubated stem cells implanted in Katie Holmes' womb... Wait, hang on, I hear knocking at the door.... Hey, it's John Travolta! Wow! What are you doing here? What's that strange-smelling towel you're covering my face wi-- MMMMF!!! MMMFFF!!! MMMMFFFFFfffffff..... zzzzzz..........................................

EDIT: Earlier false statements posted on this blog may have appeared to disparage L. Ron Hubbard and his many enlightened followers, such as popular actor Danny Masterson and America's Sweetheart herself, Kate Holmes-Cruise. These statements were erroneous, misleading and clearly made by an unclean, thetan-riddled, mean-spirited individual who, tragically, has yet to undergo even a Phase I Clearing. The editors of this blog have been air-lifted to an undisclosed location for voluntary, consensual Scientological reeducation, which is complimentary except for a nominal fee to be paid in tiered installments for the rest of their lives. Stay tuned to Media-Darling.com for future posts on such topics as "Is Xenu Behind Your Xanax Addiction?" and "Silent Births: Why They're So Incredibly Fair to the Woman and Not Insane."

Birth dates from IMDB.com. Please email me any corrections, additions or -- especially appreciated! -- exact birth times.

UPDATE: Is it a coincidence that Isaac Hayes, a.k.a. Chef, chose to leave South Park today of all days? Hmmm... [Full story: CNN.com]

> > > Read the complete post...

Sunday, March 12, 2006

Celeb Birthdays: March 12

Sorry to keep harping on the addictive tendencies of Pisces; I don't mean to encourage any of you Fish folks out there to fall off the wagon. But I can't help noticing that quite a few of the Pisces celebrities born today likey the self-medication.

Firstly, it's a wonder that Pete Doherty has survived to see 27. Apparently he's in some sort of band or something, but his main claim to fame these days is out-train-wrecking Courtney Love. With his Sun trining Uranus and Jupiter in water signs, it's no wonder he's given to overindulging and acting out in volatile outbursts. See Pete Doherty's birth chart (Astrotheme; no birth time)

Clearly, I would be making an ass out of me and Eva Herzigova, 33, were I to assume that simply by virtue of her status as a supermodel she too has dabbled in the nose candy. I'm sure there are tons of supermodels who never touch drugs, and that Ms. Herziwhatsit is one of them.

I would have to place Aaron Eckhart, 38 today, in the category of "famous people you've never heard of." For some reason I have managed to avoid seeing every movie he's been in.

Darryl Strawberry has had his well-publicized share of Piscean self-destructiveness, but at 44 has put all that behind him.

Master of mustachioed gravitas Courtney B. Vance will likely spend his 46th birthday with supervixen wife Angela Bassett.

The folk-rock stylings of James Taylor make me want to claw my own face off, but I suppose it is my duty as a chronicler of celebrities to note his 58th birthday. Ugh.

And rounding out the rehab crew, Ms. Liza Minnelli looks back on 60 blurry years of razzle-dazzle glamour. See Liza Minnelli's birth chart (Astrotheme)

If only there was some kind of beatnik Betty Ford Center back in the day, perhaps liver-pickling writer Jack Kerouac would have lived to see 84. See Jack Kerouac's birth chart (Astrotheme)

Birth dates from IMDB.com. Please email me any corrections, additions or -- especially appreciated! -- exact birth times.

> > > Read the complete post...