UPDATE: Angelina's Rumored Due Date

A couple of days ago I vowed to you, loyal readers, to keep tabs on a potential due date for Angelina Jolie. Yesterday the very delightful celebritainment blog The Superficial posted a report that Angie was heard discussing her pregnancy and disclosing a due date of June 4. This report was later updated to note that June 4 is Angelina's own b-day and that that may have been what she was referring to. Now, given that this info was overheard at a restaurant, then reported secondhand, it seems like a great big game of Telephone to me. Despite my best efforts, I often find it difficult to eavesdrop on the conversations of people next to me, and with famous people you have to try even harder to pretend you're not paying attention to them. Plus, that bump is friggin' HUGE for her to be 3 months along. Plus-plus, celebrities always lie about their due dates to throw the media off. So my guess is that Angie was indeed discussing her own Gemini birthday. Anyway, I will explore the astrological ramifications of this possible due date (hello, mini-Angelina!) and continue to scout for other info.

> > > Read the complete post...

J.Lo's Moon Sign Maternity Mystery

Yesterday MSNBC reported that Jennifer Lopez' weasellike third husband, was seen shopping for baby clothes, and we all know celebrities have assistants to pick out shower gifts, so that would seem to suggest that J.Lo has jumped on the Hollywood baby train.

Now, of course I turned to J.Lo's chart to seek some insight into this intensely personal matter which is none of my business. Yet I was shocked and dismayed to see that there is no recorded birth time on file for Jennifer Lopez! Shocked, because I fully expected that she would have emerged from the womb with a publicist in tow, ready to issue a release on her glorious entry into the world -- and dismayed, because without a solid birth time, all bets are off when it comes to important pregnancy indicators like the Moon and the 5th house.

Depending on what time of day she was born, J.Lo could have either a Scorpio or a Sagittarius moon. Since she's known for being intensely controlling and power-hungry as opposed to laid-back and philosophical (see: Angelina Jolie), my money is on the Scorpio moon. A noon birth chart (often done as a default when there is no reliable birth time) would place her Moon in late Scorpio, sandwiched neatly between Neptune in Scorpio (glamour, fame, power, control of one's image) and Mars in Sagittarius (drive, action, sexuality, adventure), uniting the energies of these planets. If indeed J.Lo's moon is in a late degree of Scorpio, a propitious time for her to conceive would be around late November 2006, when Jupiter conjuncts her Moon. Yet the proximity of Mars and Neptune to the Moon might be a double-edged sword, in that Jupiter's passage over these two planets will intensify attention on her career and public persona. It may be that later this year J.Lo has to choose between parenting plans and throwing herself into a new film project. Or perhaps she can avoid this dilemma by milking a pregnancy in the press to raise her profile. Hard to say without an accurate birth time. In any case, I just don't see her having a Sagittarius Moon, or she would have flown around the world adopting orphans by now.

Needless to say, please email me if you have any info on her birth time. (I'm trying to muster up the will to care about Marc Anthony's, though he frankly seems rather peripheral, in the grand style of Virgo husbands such as Ryan Phillippe and Guy Ritchie. Ah, well, sure, email me if you have his, too.)

> > > Read the complete post...

No, Really, What's Up With Katie's Belly?

This disturbing photo* got me wondering about exactly whose alien fetus is or is not in Katie Holmes' womb, and whether astrology might help solve the mystery. Turns out some truly freaky-deaky transits are taking place in this budding Scientologist's chart.

In her birth chart, Katie has Venus, the relationship planet, conjuncting alternative-lifestyle Uranus in Scorpio in the 4th house of home and family, which could suggest some kinky goings-on behind closed doors, and perhaps an unconventional family or household arrangement. With Scorpio on the 4th house cusp, there could definitely be some skeletons in the closet.

At the moment, Jupiter has just entered Katie's 4th house of home and family. This can mean an addition to the family as well as a material upgrade to the home, i.e. moving in with Richy McMovieStar. As Jupiter approaches Venus, this could be a nice "aww, motherhood is expanding her capability to love" aspect. But remember, with Venus comes Uranus, and when Jupiter contacts this conjunction Katie's home life could become very volatile and unstable. Again, the Scorpio influence can mean secrecy as well as issues with power and control.

Another HUGE transit in Katie's life that hints at major life transformation, as well as secrecy and power struggles, is Pluto sitting right on top of her Sagittarius Sun (a transit that affects her all year). Pluto is the planet of transformation, and as it moves over Katie's Sun, she has certainly become an unrecognizably different person. (um, Catholic virgin to unwed pregnant Scientologist? Katie to Kate?) Katie's Sun is in the 5th house of children, so this could mean that motherhood is changing her life. But Pluto, ruler of Scorpio, also brings hints of control and manipulation. As if some powerful force were controlling the process of transformation. Katie's Sun and Jupiter are in mutual reception, meaning they vibe off each other; with both planets in fire signs, one would expect Katie to be bursting with exuberance 24/7. But Jupiter's placement in the 12th house of self-undoing damps down the enthusiasm a bit. Could this be the chart of someone who jumped at a chance for fame -- then realized it meant giving away her own power and hiding her true self? Was that a loaded question?

And as if that weren't enough secretive 12th-house action, Saturn, the planet of structure, restriction and paternalistic authority, is sitting on Katie's Jupiter, further repressing her self-expression. Gosh, it's almost as if some strong male personality were imposing his will on Katie's Sagittarian free spirit. As 2006 rolls on, Saturn will steamroll over Katie's Moon (emotions) and Ascendant (self-image), perhaps causing her to withdraw even further into herself as her fire-sign energy is snuffed out by Saturn.

Neptune -- currently transiting Katie's 6th house, which, interestingly, governs one's day-to-day responsibilities -- is in Aquarius, the sign of mass communication, directly opposite Katie's Leo Moon, which rules emotions and mothering. While Leo is the "look at me" sign, Katie's Moon is in the 12th house of the subconscious; here again we see that tension between loving the spotlight and preferring to remain hidden behind the scenes. Neptune, the planet of delusion, illusion and deception, seems to be creating an aura of mystery around Katie's status as a mother (Moon). Her pregnancy has been offered up to the masses via the media (Aquarius) as a spectacle (Leo), yet seems on some level to be a Neptunian illusion -- hence, perhaps, the morphing bump. Time will tell -- maybe -- whether an actual baby or the spawn of Xenu emerges into the world. But I'm guessing Neptune will figure PROMINENTLY in whatever-it-is's chart. Does anyone have a due date on this little beastie, anyway? Given that the photo above was taken in October, the fact that she's not RV-sized at this point raises some questions....

So, to sum up, Jupiter's entry into the 4th house and Pluto's transit of Katie's (Kate's?!) Sun could signify that she is indeed about to experience the life transformation that is giving birth to her first child. Or, with Neptune, Saturn and the 12th house in the picture, Katie's life change could be something more sinister. Clearly, further study of this matter is needed. Unless hustled into the trunk of a car by L. Ron Hubbard's "legal team," I will follow up soon with analysis of Tom Cruise's chart and how it relates to Katie. Come to think of it, I wonder if anyone has established an astrological chart for the founding of Scientology. Please e-mail me with any thoughts or data.

*UPDATE: This link, which originally yielded a photo timeline of Katie's inexplicably growing and shrinking baby bump, no longer works, and I have searched in vain for another copy of the image on the interwebs. Suffice to say, it was a disturbing pic. Also, please see Media-Darling.com's updated report on TomKitten's birth chart.

> > > Read the complete post...

Brangelina's Excellent Adventure

Welcome back to the Celeb Astro-Blog! After a prolonged brief hiatus, we are back in business covering all the happenings in Hollywood and the heavens. Clearly, we must begin with a long overdue analysis of the most explosive chemistry on record in the cosmos: the phenomenon known as Brangelina.

I always think of Sagittarius as the sign of '70s rock songs with lyrics like "Babe, I love you but I've got to ramble on." This is the sign of Birkenstock-wearing, hacky-sack-playing, patchouli-smelling free birds who believe that not believing in monogamy makes them, like, really deep. It is also the sun sign of Brad Pitt, as well as his rising sign and that of his future babymama (though as far as I know, they have yet to confirm they are dating), Angelina Jolie. The Sagittarian influence in their charts goes a long way toward explaining why their life together seems like one sickeningly exciting whirlwind adventure. Angie's Ascendant in the very last degree of Sag is in orb of a conjunction to Brad's sun. This means her image as the globe-trotting, soul-searching Savior of Humanity totally reinforces Brad's Sagittarian ego; no doubt he feels that scoring such an enlightened (not to mention hot) being proves what an old soul he himself is. Sagittarius is the sign of long-distance travel, of foreign cultures and languages, and it is no coincidence that Brad has picked up Angie's habits like flying planes and adopting international children.

With her chart ruler, Jupiter, conjunct her Mars and Moon in Aries, Angelina has a natural enthusiasm for life and a strong independent streak that borders on macho swagger. (Yes, she wears the pants in this family.) This Aries stellium in her 5th house of romance, play and motherhood is constantly sending her to new continents seeking new thrills, not to mention new babies. Brad's Jupiter is also in Aries, making him excited to go along for the ride; his Mars squaring hers means they motivate each other. It also means crazy sexual tension, as if you needed astrology to figure that one out. Angelina's Gemini Sun is near the cusp of Brad's 7th house of relationships; she pretty much fits his image of the perfect partner.

Of course, Gemini and Sagittarius are mutable signs, and dynamics can shift quickly. It will be interesting to see how a new addition to the household changes the astrological balance. Angelina's baby is rumored to be due in May. A late-May due date would mean a Gemini like Angie, while a Taurus born early in May could be in for a vicious struggle for attention with Maddox (born 8/5/01). The Leo who never left his mother's arms for the first 4 years of his life may not take kindly to a biological baby hogging the spotlight. Meanwhile, Zahara (born 1/8/05) is looking like a little Daddy's girl, with Brad's Sun on her Mercury-Venus and his Capricorn Moon-Venus on her Sun forming some loving fatherly bonds. Can't wait to see the new baby's chart. I'll be on the lookout for a due date....

> > > Read the complete post...