Celeb Birthdays: April 9

I'm sure everybody is bored of all the birthday posts, and I'm planning to do a chart analysis (or seven) real soon. No, really. I mean it.

Actress Kristen Stewart (Into the Wild) is 18.

Aaagh, the dreaded teen-heartthrob hyphenate! Actor-singer Jesse McCartney (Summerland) is 21. See Jesse McCartney's birth chart (Astrotheme, no birth time)

Actress Leighton Meester of Gossip Girl, who went from unknown to ubiquitous seemingly overnight, is 22.

Musician Albert Hammond Jr. of the Strokes is 28. See Albert Hammond Jr.'s birth chart (Astrotheme, no birth time)

Feh, "reality" "stars"! Former America's Next Top Model winner Yoanna House is also 28. See Yoanna House's birth chart (Astrotheme, no birth time)

Care to feel old? Well, then, actress Keshia Knight-Pulliam, a.k.a. Rudy on The Cosby Show, is 29. See Keshia Knight-Pulliam's birth chart (Astrotheme)

Musician Gerard Way of My Chemical Romance is 31.

She of the surgically disfigured hoo-hoo, Jenna Jameson, is 34. See Jenna Jameson's birth chart (Astrotheme, no birth time)

Actress Cynthia Nixon of the eagerly-anticipated-by-people-other-than-me Sex and the City movie is 42. I recently saw her striding purposefully off the 3 train in Times Square at evening rush hour, with her dumpy girlfriend trailing behind like a lost child. I'm sorry, but her girlfriend is dumpy. What do you want me to do about it? See Cynthia Nixon's birth chart (Astrotheme, no birth time)

Former supermodel and now reality star (feh!) Paulina Porizkova of Dancing With the Stars is 43. See Paulina Porizkova's birth chart (Astrotheme, no birth time)

Fashion designer Marc Jacobs is 45.

Still-hunky actor Dennis Quaid is 54. I am very happy for him that his babies stopped bleeding. See Dennis Quaid's birth chart (Astrotheme, no birth time)

Someone named Hal Ketchum, who is alleged to be some sort of country artist, is 55.

Actress Michael Learned (The Waltons) is 69.

French actor Jean-Paul Belmondo (Breathless) is 75. I remember when we had to watch that movie in French class in high school. I blame it for making smoking seem cool. See Jean-Paul Belmondo's birth chart (Astrotheme)

Octogenarian polygamist Hugh Hefner is 82. Much as it shames me, I inevitably get sucked into The Girls Next Door every time it happens to come on. You know, I feel sorry for Holly, because she seems to actually really love him, and there is always a kind of sadness in her eyes, whereas the other two are all whoo-hoo-along-for-the-ride. See Hugh Hefner's birth chart (Astrotheme)

Birth dates from IMDB.com and/or Wikipedia. Please email me any corrections, additions or—especially appreciated!—exact birth times.

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