Today's Birfdays: February 17

As we approach the Aquarius-Pisces cusp, these celebs are celebrating.

The Skank Whore Who Shall Not Be Named, For Publicity Feeds Her Horrible Power, is doubtless congratulating herself for 25 years of leeching off society and spreading venereal infections. Does it surprise anyone that this egoholic has a Leo Moon? Look away, look away!

Though he may be 32, Jerry O'Connell will never stop being the fat kid from Stand by Me, no matter how many Scorpio supermodels he dates. Never!

Billie Joe Armstrong of Green Day seems to have changed not at all in his 34 years. Nor has his band's mediocre music. Yeah, I said it!

If only Aquarius Denise Richards (left) had been born a couple days later, she would have been a Pisces, and therefore a great match for Virgo Charlie Sheen. Instead, she'll be spending her 35th in the process of ending one of the zodiac's most incompatible pairings. Seriously, Aquarius-Virgo? So wrong!

How appropriate that Michael Jordan, who was the face of the Bulls for many years, has a Taurus Ascendant. Check out his complete chart (Astrotheme).

Seems to be a big day for skanks, as Janice Dickinson now has 53 years to erase from her face.

Birth dates from IMDB.com. Please email me any corrections, additions or -- especially appreciated! -- exact birth times.