What's REALLY in the Stars for Star Jones?

Um, would CNN please stop biting my steez? I'll grant that the "Baby One More Time" headline for Britney's second pregnancy was kind of a no-brainer, but now they are most definitely encroaching on CelebAstroBlogy territory with the headline "What's in the stars for Jones Reynolds?" {Source} Um, hello! As everyone who's anyone knows, "What's in the stars's stars today" is the definitive CelebAstroBlogy tagline. Such flagrant intellectual property violation! I am appalled.

Furthermore, those CNN charlatans do not even deliver on the headline's promise with any astrological predictions regarding haggard and deflated diva Star Jones Reynolds, who has famously been ousted from The View and burned her bridges big-time. Sorry, but an article consisting of speculation on someone's next career move does not constitute a glimpse into the stars. Now, I am a sucker for a clever pun that actually means something, but there is no linguistic affectation I hate worse than a punny phrase that doesn't make any real sense. (Except maybe the use of "literally" in a statement that is actually figurative... or the anti-word "superette," which consists solely of a prefix and suffix that negate each other, and why can't they just say "market"?! But I digress....) Therefore, while I really could not care less what happens to SJR (Oh! I also hate when people say "I could care less"), I felt I should pick up CNN's slack by taking an actual look at what is in the stars for Star.

Now, it's not difficult to see from her natal chart that Star has some aspects that could really rub people the wrong way. The me-me-me, gimme-gimme-gimme Sun and Venus in Aries certainly describe her shamelessly-freebie-scrounging Bridezilla behavior.

Mind you, not everybody who has an Aries Sun and Venus like Star is so narcissistic, greedy and selfish. But throw into the mix a conjunction of aggrsssive, impulsive Mars, Aries' ruler, with Chiron (wounding) and Mercury (communication), all in self-destructive Pisces, and you see why Star has a tendency to put her foot in her mouth. Blurting out that she was leaving and pissing off Barbara Walters was characteristic of that conjunction's impulse to go down with the ship. See Star Jones Reynolds's birth chart (Acumind.com, no birth time) And right now, unpredictable, rebellious Uranus is retrograding toward her Mercury, which again rules communication, making her especially prone to an impetuous outburst that could be her undoing.

This is definitely a rocky time for Star in many ways. Chiron (wounding) is on her Saturn in Aquarius, while Saturn in Leo has been opposing its natal position. Saturn rules life lessons, and the Saturn opposition is an important point in the life cycle, a time of reckoning when a person gets a cosmic heads-up about how he or she has been living. The Saturn opposition offers you a chance to become aware of what you need to work on; if you've made no effort to change by the time the Saturn return rolls around, let me tell you, you're in for a world of hurt. Saturn's opposition to Star's natal position was first exact in September 2005, when E! declined to renew Star's contract. Saturn retrograded back to the opposition in January 2006, when Star made comments comparing Dubya to Osama bin Laden, and made its third and final exact pass on June 18. Star preemptively announced she was leaving The View on June 27 {Source}amid swirling rumors about her surgery (Chiron) and criticism of her professional reputation (Saturn). (If anyone can pinpoint the approximate date of her weight-loss surgery, it would be interesting to see where Chiron transits fit in.)

The next several months will continue to be turbulent and volatile for Star as Uranus retrogrades over her Mercury and comes to station within a couple of degrees of her Mars-Chiron in mid-November. Look for another explosion from Star around that time, especially since transiting Pluto will be approaching a trine to her natal Uranus. Star may once again think she's empowering herself and taking control of a situation by making a spontaneous move, but again she may end up sabotaging and embarrassing herself.

On the bright side, her marriage appears to be surprisingly solid at this time, as transiting Saturn is within orb of a trine to her Venus, which will be exact in September. We cannot rule out the possibility that this stability is the result of a contractual obligation orchestrated to gratify Star's enormous ego, but still, she's got that going for her.

Okay, I really can't bear to spend any more time thinking about this woman, but I think I've proved my point to CNN: Stay off my turf! Leave the stargazing to the astrologers and stick to what you do best! I'm not sure what that is, exactly, but I'm sure it involves Anderson Cooper looking all dreamy and impassioned.