Celeb Birthdays: March 26

British beauty Keira Knightley is 21 today. Read Media-Darling's astrological analysis of her Best Actress Oscar nomination.

Smashing Pumpkins' James Iha is 38. I'm sure that, being an impatient Aries, he was frequently driven up a wall by Billy Corgan's Pisces whining. See James Iha's astrological chart (Astrotheme, no birth time)

Aries are known for starting things they don't finish, and consecutive zodiac signs tend to be the least compatible. Too bad Taurus Renee Zellwegger did not consult me before up and marrying Kenny Chesney, who is 38 today. See Kenny Chesney's astrological chart (Astrotheme, no birth time)

Catherine Keener, who is off my own personal Dead to Me list after having relinquished her claim to Dermot Mulroney and liberating him to fulfill his destiny as my husband, turns 46 today. Have a happy one, Catherine! No, really, I mean it -- I can finally admit I like your work! See Catherine Keener's astrological chart (Astrotheme, no birth time)

Thanks to the magic of cryogenics, you'd never know Leeza Gibbons is 49 today.

The alternately amusing and annoying Martin Short celebrates his 56th today.

R&B crooner Teddy Pendergrass is 56.

Comedienne Vicki Lawrence is 57.

Perhaps the only AARP-eligible man who can still rock a spandex unitard and pull it off, Aerosmith's ugly-sexy frontman Steven Tyler celebrates 60* years of naughty hijinx. Happy birthday, Steven, and please get well soon! Try visualizing Tiffany's-box blue to send strengthening energy to the throat chakra. See Steven Tyler's astrological chart (Astrotheme, no birth time)
*According to IMDb, Steven's only 58. I went with the date that matches the birth chart; please email me if you know which date is accurate.

The Scorpio-rising disheveled diva who makes Courtney Love look, um, sheveled, Diana Ross, is 62. See Diana Ross's astrological chart (Astrotheme)

Washington Post star reporter and Watergate foiler Bob Woodward is 63. His Gemini Midheaven describes his writing career. Gawd, I wish he would rat out Karl Rove! See Bob Woodward's astrological chart (Astrotheme)

Erica Jong, 64 today, has claimed Catherine Keener's spot on my Dead to Me list after revealing that she had a one-night stand with Martha Stewart's then-husband Whippy, I mean, Andy. Sexual liberation does not mean screwing over other women, Erica!!! Watch your back -- I would be real careful whom I ordered catering from in the future if I were you! See Erica Jong's astrological chart (Astrotheme)

A much better representative of the sisterhood of women, as well as our Congress, is Nancy Pelosi, who turns 66 today.

Scorpio-Moon-and-rising actor James Caan is also celebrating his 66th. See James Caan's astrological chart (Astrotheme)

Though not quite dead to me thanks to her many judicious decisions, Sandra Day O'Connor is definitely on notice for retiring and allowing the Supreme Court to be overrun by douchebags. See Sandra Day O'Connor's astrological chart (Astrotheme, no birth time)

Birth dates from IMDB.com. Please email me any corrections, additions or -- especially appreciated! -- exact birth times.