"American Idol" Astrological Predictions

Let's get one thing straight up front. I do not like American Idol. I do not understand the fascination with it. I cannot watch it without cringing in intense discomfort, to the point that my face burns and tears come to my eyes. Even the amusing prospect of seeing Paula Abdul lose her tenuous grip on sanity on live TV or watching Ryan Seacrest endure taunts about his thinly veiled closetedness cannot entice me to withstand the performances. I can honestly say that I have not seen a single minute of the show this season, and prior to that I've only been exposed to a few moments here and there while I frantically searched for the remote. (Don't get me wrong—this is not snobbery on my part by any means; I just happen to have particular tastes in reality shows. I could watch Top Chef or Trading Spouses: Meet Your New Mommy from dawn till dusk.)

But I thought it would be an interesting exercise to do a blind (deaf?) prediction of the winner in Wednesday night's show, having never heard either of the two finalists, Katharine McPhee and Taylor Hicks, sing and looking only to their birth horoscopes for guidance. Thus, in spite of my personal distaste for Idolatry, I have selflessly undertaken the task of not only predicting the season's winner but offering the finalists' birth charts for public consumption on the Interwebs.

• See Taylor Hicks's birth chart ~ Exclusive to Media-Darling.com (no birth time)

• See Katharine McPhee's birth chart ~ Exclusive to Media-Darling.com (no birth time)

Taylor, first, has lucky Jupiter on Venus, ruler of his Libra Sun, the planet of wealth and worth, so it's almost like he has it in the bag right there. This is a pretty classically fortunate aspect. However, it is definitely worth noting that Uranus in Pisces trines Venus, and Jupiter is retrograde, so it is possible that his luck could reverse unexpectedly. The transiting Sun is on Taylor's Jupiter in Gemini, further enhancing his good luck. Transiting Mars is approaching a square to its natal position, which can trigger rash, impulsive action, but it is far enough away that it seems unlikely to throw him significantly out of whack. Saturn in Leo is squaring his Uranus, which brings dramatic life changes, conceivably those wrought by fame.

Katharine has a couple of fortunate aspects, like Mercury directly on her North Node, lucky Jupiter trining her Venus, and Jupiter having just retrograded over her Saturn. But she also has a couple of aspects that could suggest disappointment, like Uranus on her Venus (the inverse of Taylor's Jupiter on Venus/Uranus trine Venus; interesting that their Venuses aspect each other), implying an unexpected reversal of fortune. And the Sun in early Gemini is still in an out-of-sign conjunction to Chiron, planet of wounding, in Taurus. Gemini rules the lungs and Taurus rules the voice, so it could be that Katharine has not been taking good care of her vocal cords.

One of my online colleagues has chosen to stake his prediction of a Katharine win on the Moon's position in Taurus on Wednesday night, May 24, the American Idol finale, when the winner will be revealed. Contrarian that I am, I must beg to differ with his methodology, for the actual performing and voting take place on Tuesday night, May 23. It seems to me that the winner will be determined more by Tuesday's aspects, indicating how "on" the contestants' performances are and how the public responds to them. (It is a darned shame that we do not have either of their birth times, as it would be great to see what's happening in the 11th house of public perception and mass media.) At the time of the finale (8PM ET, or 5PM L.A. time) Taylor will have the Aries Moon/Venus conjunction opposite his Sun/Mars while Katharine has the Moon right on her Mercury and Venus close by. Especially factoring in that her Sun is also in Aries, Katharine definitely has the edge in terms of lunar placement; in fact, the Aries Moon is a stronger positive influence than Wednesday's Taurus Moon.

So, both contenders have planets in their corners. But if I have to pick (and again, I haven't heard either one sing, though I can tell you that Katharine is a darn sight more camera-ready than Taylor), I would say it's hard to trump that Jupiter-on-Venus and Jupiter-on-Sun in Taylor's chart. Likewise, Uranus on her Venus could mean a surprise upset victory for Katharine (I'm told by Research Chief Karen that Taylor is the favorite, though that is inconceivable to me from looking at the two of them), but seems more likely to bode the rug being pulled out from under her. I can predict only one thing with absolute certainty: I will not be watching.

Related: Paula Abdul Is Acting Cuckoo Crazy (3/27/06)