Celeb Birthdays: August 21

Actress Hayden Panettiere is 17.

I have major beef with "celebrities" who are famous largely because someone famous slept with a groupie to produce them. Therefore, it is with extreme reluctance that I acknowledge the birthdays of two of Hollywood's most prominent dingleberries, Brody Jenner, 23, and Kimberly Stewart, 27. At least Brody is easy on the eyes. See Kimberly Stewart's birth chart (Astrotheme, no birth time)

Hip-hop honey, Nas' lady and poster girl for lactose tolerance Kelis is 27. See Kelis' birth chart (Astrotheme, no birth time)

Actress Alicia Witt is 31. See Alicia Witt's birth chart (Astrotheme)

My heroine throughout college and muse for the finest Rashomon-esque trifecta of TV movies ever filmed, Amy Fisher, turns 32 today. See Amy Fisher's birth chart (Astrotheme)

Liam Howlett and Leeroy Thornhill of the Prodigy both turn 35 today. See Liam Howlett's birth chart (Astrotheme, no birth time) ~ See Leeroy Thornhill's birth chart (Astrotheme, no birth time)

Matrix star Carrie-Anne Moss is 39 today, but I have not forgotten she got her start on Models Inc. See Carrie-Anne Moss's birth chart (Astrotheme, no birth time)

Mad props to Armenian-American Serj Tankian, System of a Down frontman, who turns 39 today. See Serj Tankian's birth chart (Astrotheme, no birth time)

Sex in the City-pot Kim Cattrall hits 50 today, and I still have not forgotten that she got her start in Mannequin. See Kim Cattrall's birth chart (Astrotheme, no birth time)

Director Peter Weir is 62. See Peter Weir's birth chart (Astrotheme, no birth time)

Mod Squad actor Clarence Williams III (who was also excellent in Tales from the Hood, by the by) is 67. See Clarence Williams III's birth chart (Astrotheme, no birth time)

No matter how tightly he stretches the skin around his eyes, country musician and chicken-monger Kenny Rogers cannot escape the fact that he turns 68 today. See Kenny Rogers' birth chart (Astrotheme)

Badassssss black film pioneer Melvin Van Peebles is 74. See Melvin Van Peebles' birth chart (Astrotheme, no birth time)

Birth dates from IMDB.com. Please email me any corrections, additions or—especially appreciated!—exact birth times.

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