Celeb Birthdays: March 9-10

Sorry for the lateness of today's birthday post, but I was lucky enough to be gifted with tickets to a performance by the Mark Morris Dance Group at BAM. I don't know much about this modern dance business, but it seems to be kind of like a very minimalistic, barefoot version of figure skating, without any sequins whatsoever on the costumes. Seriously, it was very lovely and fascinating to watch, and I learned from the program that Mark Morris (born August 29, 1956 in Seattle, WA) is a Virgo with a Sun-Jupiter conjunction, which would bless him with the combination of precision and expansiveness required to be a choreographer, as well as a very creative and soulful grand trine between Venus in Cancer, Mars in Pisces and Saturn in Scorpio. But I digress, as some celebrities are celebrating birthdays today, and still more will do so tomorrow.

March 9

Bow Wow will doubtless hear or read the phrase "Lil' no more!" many times on his 19th birthday and on each subsequent birthday. Come his 21st, I suggest he make a drinking game out of it.

I wonder whether the festivities for drawling rapper Chingy's 25th will in some way involve women paid to remove their clothing and/or place protruding bodily appendages on panes of glass. Nah, prolly just cake, ice cream and a pinata.

Every crack I could make about Emmanuel Lewis' 35th seems insensitive, especially the one about wondering whether Michael Jackson still finds him attractive, so I'll take the high road and refrain.

First, Fugazi's awesometastic drummer Brendan Canty is 40.

And the second, Velvet Underground bassist-genius John Cale, is not heard from nearly enough at 66.

March 10

I have heard tell that there is a parallel universe of celebrity in which people become "famous" for singing cheesy songs on a cheesy show and later go on to release country songs about Jesus and people actually buy the records, and that in this universe, the 23rd birthday of one Carrie Underwood is noteworthy. Maybe if she participated in a show that involved actual artistry, such as Skating With Celebrities, I would care.

A singer with real cred in my book, Neneh Cherry, is 43, as is Pearl Jam's Jeff Ament. Did you know they have a new album out? Pearl Jam, not Neneh.

I'm all for women remaining strong, sassy and sexy as they get older, but the glaring exception is Sharon Stone, who at 48, really must be stopped. Mind you, it has nothing to do with her age; throughout her career I have consistently felt that she must be stopped.

Speaking of people who really, no joke, must be stopped, I almost don't even want to take notice of Osama bin Laden's 49th birthday, but it's worth being aware of his chart to know what we're dealing with. See bin Laden's chart (Astrotheme, no birth time) It's no wonder his brand of bomb-friendly religious fundamentalism has flourished with Uranus in Pisces. I hope when Uranus conjuncts his Sun in 2008 his ass blows up.

Okay, if you were born on March 10, forget all about Osama and take pride in the fact that you share your birthday with Chuck Norris, who celebrates 66 ass-kicking years today.

Birth dates from IMDB.com. Please email me any corrections, additions or -- especially appreciated! -- exact birth times.