Justin and Cameron: Wrong, Wrong, Wrong!

Gentle reader, I hope it will not escape your notice that I am nothing if not a responsive correspondent. Yesterday I posted an update on Britney Spears' rumored second pregnancy [link] and solicited suggestions as to whom Britney should get with once she finally kicks K-Fed to the curb. The unanimous feedback from all two of my fans echoed the secret hope deep within my own heart: that one day, Britney will resume her rightful throne as the Princess of Pop beside her prince, her one true love, Justin Timberlake. Yet he remains in the thrall of Miss Face-Hit-With-a-Frying-Pan herself, the One Who Thought She Was Too Good for Matt Dillon and Could Not Have Been More Wrong, Cameron Diaz.

Folks, you know how I feel about Aquarius-Virgo couples (see also: Sheryl Crow and Lance Armstrong; Denise Richards and Charlie Sheen). Will the ill-conceived union of Justin & Cam at last be torn asunder, paving the way for the glorious Justin-Britney reconciliation? Or, as some sickening scuttlebutt would have it, is J.T. fixing to make an honest woman of old Frying Pan Face?

Now, Justin (Justin's birth chart; Astrotheme) and Britney (Britney's birth chart; Astrotheme) have such compatible horoscopes it breaks your heart to look at them -- he has Sun in Aquarius and Moon in Sagittarius, she has Sun in Sagittarius and Moon in Aquarius; this double Sun-Moon reciprocity is one of the best auspices for a romantic match. (Some would say for a man and a woman, but I prefer to consider gender in astrology in archetypal terms.) And not only that, but Justin's Sun is exactly conjunct Britney's Moon, which is such a good indicator that he meets her emotional needs, I could cry. And OH MAH GAHD, their Venuses are almost exactly conjunct in Capricorn, I'm not even kidding. They have the exact same approach to and values when it comes to relationships. These two need to get married already! Tell the people!!!

But when you look at Justin and Cameron's charts together (Cameron's birth chart; Astrotheme), you're like, hello? What am I missing? I'll grant that Justin, with his Sun in the Virgo-ruled 6th house, may vibe a bit better with a Virgo Sun chick than your average Aquarius, but that's really not saying much. And these two do not have much in the way of aspects. Their Venuses oppose each other, which is about as modest a positive aspect as Britney and K-Fed's Venus-Mars opposition. But come on, a Virgo with Cancer rising and a Taurus Moon, and an Aquarius with Leo rising and a Sag Moon? I'm guessing that from moment one, Cameron has been trying to sink her claws of commitment into Justin while he bobs and weaves. She's all, "Where is this going? What am I to you? Can I keep a toothbrush and a change of underwear here?" and he's all, "Whoa, why does it have to be about labels? Can't we just, like, live in the moment? Why don't you just turn your underwear inside out?" Okay, maybe not that last part, but you get the picture. With all that air and fire, Justin does not need an earth-sign ball and chain like Cameron. And in fairness, she certainly doesn't need a hard-to-pin-down Aquarian constantly denying her the sense of security her Taurus Moon craves.

(BTW, Matt Dillon: also an Aquarius. Is Cameron just a masochist or something? I mean, she was on the right track finding a fellow earth sign in Capricorn Jared Leto, but you don't need astrology to tell you that you're in for a world of hurt dating a man-whore like him.)

With upheaval-inducing Uranus transiting his 7th house of relationships (it won't be out once and for all until 2009), this is no time for Justin to settle down in a marriage; he is working on his own issues and going through a lot of inner change and turmoil. As Saturn transits his 12th house, Justin has been keeping a low profile. Neptune is just moving off a confusing "who am I?" conjunction to his Sun, but will retrograde back toward it, and only toward the end of the year will Justin start to regain a clear perception of his own identity. Meanwhile, Pluto on his Moon has been stirring up more emotional transformation, though its influence is now starting to wane. Justin is definitely going through one of those phases where he questions what his life is all about and whether he's experienced all it has to offer. The emotional restlessness of Pluto transiting his Sag Moon does not bode well for anyone who might be, say, constantly carping at him to marry and impregnate her before her fertility odds nosedive.

I can't wait until May, when Justin's progressed Moon contacts his natal Uranus in Scorpio. Some intense feelings that he has been suppressing may boil to the surface at this time. I can only hope that this Uranian upheaval will mean that Justin bursts free of Cameron's clutches. While he continues to do psychic work on himself for the rest of this year as Neptune makes its last contact with his Sun, Britney could be working on disentangling herself from the K-Fed fiasco and reclaiming her own emotional center as Neptune makes its last contact with her Moon.

It's a long way away, but in December 2008 Jupiter will conjunct Britney and Justin's shared Venus. This time period could be a beautiful window of opportunity for them to reconnect. By then Uranus will be wrapping up its passage through Justin's 7th house and he might just be ready for the relationship that will last a lifetime. To sum up: Britney and Justin, you were destined to be together! Please do not defy the will of the planets!