Celeb Birthdays: May 4

Much-rumored-about N'Sync-er Lance Bass turns 27. See if you can find any astrological clues about his sexuality in his natal chart. See Lance Bass's birth chart (Astrotheme, no birth time)

Green Day bassist Mike Dirnt is 33. See Mike Dirnt's birth chart (Astrotheme, no birth time)

Former SNLer Ana Gasteyer, whose Martha Stewart Topless Christmas sketch will always have a place in my heart, is turning 39 and actually appearing on the Martha show on Friday. Ummm...I mean, I can't remember where I heard that, because I definitely do not have my DVR set to tape Martha every day. Why, that would be pathetic! (Look, I fast-forward through everything but the cooking segments, okay? Don't judge me!)

Randy Travis, who I've gathered is a country artist of some sort, is 47. He is also a double Taurus, so it is safe to assume his songs are about drinking and women. See Randy Travis's birth chart (Astrotheme)

Now, I am definitely not trying to validate the phenomenon of skanky, leeching, beyond-murderous-Texas-cheerleader-mom-conniving mothers of celebrities becoming household names in their own right. But if noting the 51st birthday of one Lynne Spears allows me to better understand the inner workings of her plucky but troubled daughter Britney, then so be it. I have searched in vain for Lynne's place of birth; please email me if you know it (and better yet, her birth time) so I can run a chart.

I can't remember exactly what Pia Zadora did back when she, um, did things...was she actually an actress? A model? Wasn't she too short to be a model? Well, she turns 52 today. In retrospect, this was probably not worth mentioning. See Pia Zadora's birth chart (Astrotheme, no birth time)

Motley Crüe groupies probably won't even notice that Mick Mars is 55, as he has been looking haggard as all hell for a good 20 years now.

Exquisitely odious Breakfast Club principal Paul Gleason is 61 today. Much love! Whoa, that is one heck of a bowl formation in his chart. See Paul Gleason's birth chart (Astrotheme)

Birth dates from IMDB.com. Please email me any corrections, additions or—especially appreciated!—exact birth times.