Birthday Predictions for Lindsay Lohan: More Trouble Ahead?

As of today, Lindsay Lohan need not worry about the hated "teen queen" label, for this Crab-cakes (born July 2, 1986) has hit the big 2-0. In honor of La Lohan's 20th, I thought I'd take a peep at her solar return chart and see if maturing out of her teenage years will inspire Linds to settle down and stabilize.

Ohhh, dear. Well, I'm sorry to say that her birthday forecast does not show Lindsay likely to outgrow her feisty firecrotch ways anytime soon. With a mutable T-square in her chart between Jupiter in vulnerable Pisces, volatile Uranus in Sagittarius and sore point Chiron in Gemini, Lindsay has a tendency to instability as it is. Her combination of the Sun in sensitive Cancer and Mercury and Venus in self-centered Leo make her need a lot of attention and validation, and with the Sun's opposition to Mars, she may act out if she doesn't get it. ~ See Lindsay Lohan's birth chart (Astrotheme, no birth time) All these tendencies are unfortunately reinforced in Lindsay's solar return chart for the coming year, suggesting a turbulent 2006–2007 that could see her plunge even further off the deep end.

Solar return Jupiter is trine Lindsay's natal Sun in Cancer and conjunct natal Pluto in Scorpio, meaning power and control issues will emerge in a big way for Lindsay this year. In the solar return chart, Jupiter also forms a grand water trine with the Sun in Cancer and Uranus in Pisces, auguring issues with addiction and impulse behavior getting out of control. If Lindsay finds herself unable to possess and control who or what she wants (Sun/Pluto) she might act out with self-destructive, self-medicating behavior.

This out-of-control water energy is already starting to become a trend for Linds. Think back to the grand water trine I warned her about in May and its potential for erratic, addictive behavior. (Why doesn't Lindsay listen to me?!) If you'll recall, Lindsay spent the month of May promoting Prairie Home Companion on morning shows in the clothes she'd been wearing the night before. She also got into beef with She Who Shall Not Be Named, For Publicity Feeds Her Horrible Power; and was of course embroiled in Firecrotchgate after Brandon "Jabba the Hut Lite" Davis besmirched her, um, good reputation.

Do we have more of this excessive partying and arguing to look forward to from L.Lo this year? I'm afraid so, since solar return Mercury on her natal Mercury and solar return Mars on her natal Venus, all in Leo, suggest Lindsay giving free rein to all that self-centered, impulsive, insistent-on-getting-her-own-way Leo energy. Especially if alcohol and/or other substances are in the mix, the mix of fire and water energies could be toxic. Solar return Mars on Lindsay's Venus is activating the natal inconjunct between Venus and Mars in Capricorn. Mars rules passion as well as temper; Lindsay's tendency to blow up if she doesn't get what she wants is going to come out in full force this year. Only recently she picked a fight with hard-core Scorpio Diddy at a party, which is really not a wise move; you just don't want to cross powerful Scorpios, people. In her professional life, Lindsay seems to have managed to use her Sun's opposition to Mars in Capricorn to give her drive and discipline, but in her personal life it appears to be manifesting through outbursts of temper when she feels she's been slighted (see also: Jessica Simpson).

But is Lindsay's temper a cry for help, her Leo ego covering her Cancer sensitivity? With all the uncertainty in her life, Lindsay seems to be floundering, drifting on a sea of nebulous water sign energy. Saturn in the solar return chart semisextiles her Sun, offering a subtle warning that she may need to check herself before she wrecks herself. Expect to see Lindsay learn a hard lesson in love in mid-September, when transiting Saturn conjuncts her Venus. She may discover that she can't always get what she wants... the question is, will this lead to a meltdown.

Should I close with one more rhetorical question? Okay. Happy birthday, Lindsay... just try not to have too much fun celebrating!

Related:
• More Warning Signs for Lindsay Lohan (4/30/06)
• Lindsay Lohan: Intervention Time Again! (4/23/06)
• Lindsay Lohan's World Hospital Tour (2/1/06)