Celeb Birthdays: March 11

Today's eclectic assortment of celebrity birthdays brings to mind a traditional Zen Buddhist fable. Siddhartha, the future Buddha, was walking in the woods when he came upon the demon Mara. Mara said, "Siddhartha, your human flesh is worthless and weak. What do you want to do with your life?" Siddhartha pondered for a moment and then triumphantly replied, "I wanna rock!" He then spun around really fast and, at that moment, transformed into the Buddha in all his splendor. Wait, maybe that's not actually how that story goes. In any case, on to the birthdays...

Someone who needs to get more recognition and more roles is ... Thora Birch, 24 today, who really works that Pisces I commune-with-the-shadow-world thing for all it's worth.

Joel and Benji Madden of Good Charlotte, a.k.a. He Who Dates The Scary Fake-Teeth Horseface and the Other One, turn 27.

Though Pisces and Cancer are generally compatible, Johnny Knoxville, 35, is definitely not on my list of men who would be good for Jessica Simpson.

Oscar nominee Terrence Howard is 37. Read about his Academy Awards aspects.

Because she keeps managing to parlay her 12-year-old one-hit wonder into an endless succession of humiliating celebreality shows, I am obliged to note the 38th birthday of Lisa Loeb.

Namaste to Hitchhiker's Guide author Douglas Adams, who would have been 54 today. Sadly, he died ridiculously young in 2001.

Here's another handy way to date yourself! Do you have fond memories of über-Hey It's that Guy Mark Metcalf as (a) Neidermeyer in Animal House, (b) the "What do you want to do with your life?" guy in the Twisted Sister videos, or (c) The Master on Buffy? If you answered all of the above, you are not only ageless but have excellent taste. In honor of his 60th, please take a moment to appreciate Mark Metcalf's oeuvre.

The stars evidently aligned to the far right on the birthdays of Antonin Scalia, 70 today, and Rupert Murdoch, 75. Isn't it time for them to retire? I hear Scalia really enjoys duck hunting with Dick Cheney. No, seriously.

Birth dates from IMDB.com. Please email me any corrections, additions or -- especially appreciated! -- exact birth times.